A big, white, sturdy
Farmhouse.
With a long, marbled sidewalk leading
Up to the front porch,
Muggy or chilly depending on the season.
Encircled by the white fence,
Made for protection and attractiveness,
But also for sitting and climbing into your favorite tree.
With windows for looking out over the fields of crops.
Child-rearing, a total of twelve,
Grew up in its watchful eye that missed nothing.
Dozens more children were raised,
During hot summer days, holidays,
And when their parents needed a break.
Fostering hide-and-seek in the closets,
Behind the curtains,
And under the beds,
Everyone had their favorite spot.
Marbles always played on the carpet in the living room,
And checkers in the toy porch
Where the light would shine in the windows, warming your face.
Hosting family gatherings, birthday parties,
Church meetings and any other opportunities for
Fellowship between friends,
No one was ever turned away from the
Love that radiated through its walls like a heartbeat.
They got older and so did it,
No more parties, no more big gatherings,
Just a place for a quiet visit from family and friends.
Upstairs rooms empty and lonely,
Stairs barely creaked by owners' footsteps,
Walls aching for activity once more.
Until a young new family
Replaced its aging owners.
The young family brought exciting changes.
Stairs found themselves being bounced up and down once again,
Rooms upstairs were being lived in,
Walls were covered with posters and pictures,
Everything was coming back to life.
Marbles, checkers, and hide-and-seek
Were replaced with
Sleepovers, video games,
And nerf guns bouncing off its silent, strong walls.
Music filled each room, a modern medley or progression
From past to present, old to young, quiet to chaotic.
Raising these children up right
Just as it had done many times before,
It did not miss one smile, tear, or peal of laughter.
The house doing its job for one final time
For the 4th generation.
Knowing it was the end
The house smiled, its job was done.
Gathering up the memories,
It was time to say goodbye
To candy in the cupboard, marbles on the floor,
Hide-and-seek throughout it and checkers on the porch.
Its family struggles at the hard task that is goodbye,
If only the walls could speak and tell of their long life
And their love for each and every one of the children
Raised throughout the many years
Moving through progression,
Material things will come and go but
Memories of the beloved farmhouse
Will stay in their hearts forever.
As a dying soul leaves its body an empty shell,
A house without a family cease to be a home,
The tired walls represented an empty shell,
For the family was its soul.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Boy of Fall
For Schyler-
Set behind the quarterback in your two point stance
Your eyes peer through the facemask at the distant goal
Fingers nervously drumming on your thigh pads, you fidget
Until the moment right before the snap where everything goes perfectly still
Your muscles tense
From the stands, it looks like you almost stop breathing, your concentration is so great
The ball is snapped and everything happens at once
The quarterback spins and hands it off to you, as you are set loose like a cannon
Looking for a hole, you juke left and right, until there it is-
And you're gone.
Breaking tackles,
Stiff-arming the opponent,
Legs churning under you,
As you move gracefully down the sideline
Into the endzone.
This is not your first time in the endzone, and not your last
As you toss the ball to the referee to focus on the next play
You head to the sideline,
To talk things over with the coach, or should you say Dad.
On this sideline you stand
With your hands on your hips
Shoulders heaving with exertion of the sixty yard run.
Broad, padded shoulders that are forced to take on so much more than the opposing team
The harsh jeers from the crowd roll of your back like the sweat and blood
You dedicate to the game
Having your teammates' backs, regardless of whether or not they have yours
Because it's who you are, green number 34.
Lofty dreams set high from the time a football touched your hands
You put in your time
Logging hundreds of hours in the weight room since age 13
Thousands of yards of sprints in the 110 degree heat of the preseason
Night after night spend in front of the T.V. watching game film
Looking for anything and everything you can improve on
To make your game better
Dedication stronger than your own strong will
Records set and broken
You rush your way to the top of the record books
Of your school, the district, the state
Looking toward a bright future in football
My boy of fall.
Set behind the quarterback in your two point stance
Your eyes peer through the facemask at the distant goal
Fingers nervously drumming on your thigh pads, you fidget
Until the moment right before the snap where everything goes perfectly still
Your muscles tense
From the stands, it looks like you almost stop breathing, your concentration is so great
The ball is snapped and everything happens at once
The quarterback spins and hands it off to you, as you are set loose like a cannon
Looking for a hole, you juke left and right, until there it is-
And you're gone.
Breaking tackles,
Stiff-arming the opponent,
Legs churning under you,
As you move gracefully down the sideline
Into the endzone.
This is not your first time in the endzone, and not your last
As you toss the ball to the referee to focus on the next play
You head to the sideline,
To talk things over with the coach, or should you say Dad.
On this sideline you stand
With your hands on your hips
Shoulders heaving with exertion of the sixty yard run.
Broad, padded shoulders that are forced to take on so much more than the opposing team
The harsh jeers from the crowd roll of your back like the sweat and blood
You dedicate to the game
Having your teammates' backs, regardless of whether or not they have yours
Because it's who you are, green number 34.
Lofty dreams set high from the time a football touched your hands
You put in your time
Logging hundreds of hours in the weight room since age 13
Thousands of yards of sprints in the 110 degree heat of the preseason
Night after night spend in front of the T.V. watching game film
Looking for anything and everything you can improve on
To make your game better
Dedication stronger than your own strong will
Records set and broken
You rush your way to the top of the record books
Of your school, the district, the state
Looking toward a bright future in football
My boy of fall.
Halloween Baby
For Gabriel-
They told me he was a Halloween baby,
Born of trick-or-treaters, jack-o-lanterns
And a full moon rising in the sky.
His smile, lights up his blue-green eyes as
He bounces around in his Tigger costume.
Making conversation with every stranger in the store,
"Hi! What's your name? Do you like your job?"
Catching each one off guard until they just have to smile.
Always having something to say or a song to sing,
until a 'singing ban' has to be made for the dinner table.
Slowly embarrassment and shyness
Takes the place of his questions spoken with reckless abandon.
Growing taller and stronger, his voice getting lower, he starts to flourish
Found more often alone with a book than entertaining,
The subtle change sends silent vibrations through us all.
Writing his own book, he grows prestigious, testing his ground carefully.
The other half of his life lived in the shadow of his older brother.
My 44 boy padded up, standing tall and proud on the sideline
Waiting for his chance to show his newfound strength,
That will come soon enough, maybe too soon.
Growing up much too fast, it's getting harder and harder to see
That little boy with shining eyes and toothless grin
In the kind, brave young man he is becoming.
Everyone can see him tonight-
One of the Hawks, standing ready on the sideline
Suited up proudly bearing number 44.
Everyone except me
Standing where the strong young man was
Is a little boy in a Tigger costume,
smiling up at me through his shining blue-green eyes and slight freckles,
My 44 boy, my little brother, my Halloween baby.
They told me he was a Halloween baby,
Born of trick-or-treaters, jack-o-lanterns
And a full moon rising in the sky.
His smile, lights up his blue-green eyes as
He bounces around in his Tigger costume.
Making conversation with every stranger in the store,
"Hi! What's your name? Do you like your job?"
Catching each one off guard until they just have to smile.
Always having something to say or a song to sing,
until a 'singing ban' has to be made for the dinner table.
Slowly embarrassment and shyness
Takes the place of his questions spoken with reckless abandon.
Growing taller and stronger, his voice getting lower, he starts to flourish
Found more often alone with a book than entertaining,
The subtle change sends silent vibrations through us all.
Writing his own book, he grows prestigious, testing his ground carefully.
The other half of his life lived in the shadow of his older brother.
My 44 boy padded up, standing tall and proud on the sideline
Waiting for his chance to show his newfound strength,
That will come soon enough, maybe too soon.
Growing up much too fast, it's getting harder and harder to see
That little boy with shining eyes and toothless grin
In the kind, brave young man he is becoming.
Everyone can see him tonight-
One of the Hawks, standing ready on the sideline
Suited up proudly bearing number 44.
Everyone except me
Standing where the strong young man was
Is a little boy in a Tigger costume,
smiling up at me through his shining blue-green eyes and slight freckles,
My 44 boy, my little brother, my Halloween baby.
MIgliori Amici
I am a picture with a broken frame
You can see yourself mirrored in it
Eyes that have seen it all, the good and the bad
My head finding comfort on your shoulder
Remember the whispers of
"It'll be ok"
in my ear over and over until I believe it to be true
The smell of frozen pizza and the way our favorite ice cream melts on my tongue
Fear sounds like dragon flies flitting to and fro about the front yard
How I hated going for my weekly visits with Lisa in Des Moines
When no one understood but you
But I guess they weren't that bad, especially when you rode along with me
Our parents said we were "two peas in a pod"
But you hated it when I called us besties
Because it would makes us like all the others
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer
Was definitely not the case with us
Our long talks of truth were keeping the monster at bay
Hot as ice. It burned its way through,
But you gave me hope that I could fly away from the big mess I was in
Saying, "Cass, we are in this together," it made her believe she was not alone
And I never will be no matter what happens even as
Sweet sadness falls over us like a blanket
We will fight to win the losing fight until saying:
Attraversiamo
I trust in the promise whispered through the wind
Imagining each dragon fly flitting farther and farther away
You can see yourself mirrored in it
Eyes that have seen it all, the good and the bad
My head finding comfort on your shoulder
Remember the whispers of
"It'll be ok"
in my ear over and over until I believe it to be true
The smell of frozen pizza and the way our favorite ice cream melts on my tongue
Fear sounds like dragon flies flitting to and fro about the front yard
How I hated going for my weekly visits with Lisa in Des Moines
When no one understood but you
But I guess they weren't that bad, especially when you rode along with me
Our parents said we were "two peas in a pod"
But you hated it when I called us besties
Because it would makes us like all the others
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer
Was definitely not the case with us
Our long talks of truth were keeping the monster at bay
Hot as ice. It burned its way through,
But you gave me hope that I could fly away from the big mess I was in
Saying, "Cass, we are in this together," it made her believe she was not alone
And I never will be no matter what happens even as
Sweet sadness falls over us like a blanket
We will fight to win the losing fight until saying:
Attraversiamo
I trust in the promise whispered through the wind
Imagining each dragon fly flitting farther and farther away
Pure as Falling Rain-revised
Sparkling eyes
Full smiles that are true
Makes your heart flutter-
At one time that was you
Unscathed by the world
Full of trust, free of pain
Seeing the best in anyone
Pure as falling rain
Endless imaginations
Hearts full of innocent love
If only you could bottle
Their virtue from the Lord above
Sensitive to their surroundings
The first to feel something's wrong
They might not know what or why
But they feel it all along
To live their lives
Where the worst is kept away
To feel safe and secure
And not sugarcoat what you say
One's life is a fragile thing
Like the purity of a child
But put them together, like magic
They make you smile
Full smiles that are true
Makes your heart flutter-
At one time that was you
Unscathed by the world
Full of trust, free of pain
Seeing the best in anyone
Pure as falling rain
Endless imaginations
Hearts full of innocent love
If only you could bottle
Their virtue from the Lord above
Sensitive to their surroundings
The first to feel something's wrong
They might not know what or why
But they feel it all along
To live their lives
Where the worst is kept away
To feel safe and secure
And not sugarcoat what you say
One's life is a fragile thing
Like the purity of a child
But put them together, like magic
They make you smile
Sacrifice
You said that fairy tales do not come true
and it would not be smart to pursue
any thoughts in my head of me and you.
But time went on and it became harder
to ignore the feelings that were getting stronger,
sucking me in I could feel the danger
of falling for you. But your voice inside my head
brings around all my doubts about you instead
and I can't help from feeling a bit mislead
by you. When you act one way to make me think
one thing but act the opposite makes my heart sink.
So here it is, what we have is on the brink
of your decision. Will you give your heart to me
and take the chance to make this work, knowingly
making the choice of a future we can't see.
Or will you be brave and strong and stay on track
to give your life not to me but in combat
'cause soldiers go to war and never come back.
and it would not be smart to pursue
any thoughts in my head of me and you.
But time went on and it became harder
to ignore the feelings that were getting stronger,
sucking me in I could feel the danger
of falling for you. But your voice inside my head
brings around all my doubts about you instead
and I can't help from feeling a bit mislead
by you. When you act one way to make me think
one thing but act the opposite makes my heart sink.
So here it is, what we have is on the brink
of your decision. Will you give your heart to me
and take the chance to make this work, knowingly
making the choice of a future we can't see.
Or will you be brave and strong and stay on track
to give your life not to me but in combat
'cause soldiers go to war and never come back.
Silent Journey
In my dream
I am a red maple leaf
Abandoned softly by the tree,
Whose front lawn home
Is littered with thousands
A leaf still damp with rain
From the storm since passed,
Blowing silently over the sleeping paw
Of the old sheepdog soaking up the sun
At rest on autumn's soft quilt
I slide endlessly over the sidewalk
Down Vannesst Street's center line
Amidst the tires and exhaust of cars
Lost in their own pursuits,
Driving over mirror images
Suddenly stolen by the fresh fall breeze
I glide through the air
To settle on a white patio chair
Where I watch a somber man
Working to dispose of any traces
of myself.
I am a red maple leaf
Abandoned softly by the tree,
Whose front lawn home
Is littered with thousands
A leaf still damp with rain
From the storm since passed,
Blowing silently over the sleeping paw
Of the old sheepdog soaking up the sun
At rest on autumn's soft quilt
I slide endlessly over the sidewalk
Down Vannesst Street's center line
Amidst the tires and exhaust of cars
Lost in their own pursuits,
Driving over mirror images
Suddenly stolen by the fresh fall breeze
I glide through the air
To settle on a white patio chair
Where I watch a somber man
Working to dispose of any traces
of myself.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Memorial Day
Gabe and I
Schyler and I
The cutest puppy in the world: Cairo!
Cassie + Gabe + Schyler + sunflower seeds :)Simpson College-Second Semester
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Simpson College-First Semester
The best "roomie" ever and my bestest friend! :)
the team minus McKinsey :(
fun picture before our last game
shooting in Cowles Fieldhouse before a game
--team--
Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
For the Love of the Game
There are many things you do for the love of the game
Al the workouts and practices
The late nights, the butterflies that hit you in the locker room
The sweat your have produced throughout the many years
The blood that stains your jersey
The tears after the tough loss or disappointment in your own play
Releasing the ball from your hands, praying it will go in
The sprints, drills that left your body gasping and wanting rest
The smiles, inside jokes and high fives from your teammates
Cheers of the crowd or the hollow sound of the ball in an empty gym
Joy in achievements, wins and goals achieved
Sadness in the tough loss of in falling short
The hours of hard work to the minutes of actual game time
Sacrificing your body and free time for more time in the gym
Expectations of other bearing down on you
Eyes watching for one mistake, wanting you to fail
Lonely hours spent practicing alone with just your fears and doubts
Fear of failing yourself, your team, your fans
Running out into the gym, cheering filling your ears
Being introduced at the beginning of the game
The missed shot, bad pass, stupid turnover
Praise from your coach or that disappointed look
Going home to bed to nurse your injuries
The way the ball feels in your hands, a perfect fit
The joy in picking out the perfect shoes
Putting your jersey on the first time at the beginning of the season
Walking out of the locker room to love after a win, or a loss
Having a player you look up to, who is your role model
Or being a role model to a little girl yourself
The swish of the net, the squeak of your shoes
The hurt, the joy, the tears, the smiles
Teammates that become family
Finding out how strong you really are
Releasing the ball, knowing it will go in
The hustle play that stops an opponent's score
Butterflies flutttering during the national anthem
walking through the line congratulating your opponent
the anticipation in the locker room before the game
Cheers after a win, or solemn silence after a loss
the fear in the back our your mind of getting hurt
Pride in your school and team
Confidence in yourself and also your doubts
Sacrifices for the game
Or the joy it brings
The anger you feel when the words "It's just a game" are spoken
Because to you, its so much more
It's your love, your life
It makes you happy, sad, frustrated, angry, proud and changes your life
Lessons it teaches stay with you for a lifetime,
but so do the scars, injuries and bad memories
All this for the love of the game
To some its not worth the pain, sacrifice and hard work
Even for the glory, joy and achievement that follows closely behind
But for others, playing the game with all that comes with it, is more than worth it.
Al the workouts and practices
The late nights, the butterflies that hit you in the locker room
The sweat your have produced throughout the many years
The blood that stains your jersey
The tears after the tough loss or disappointment in your own play
Releasing the ball from your hands, praying it will go in
The sprints, drills that left your body gasping and wanting rest
The smiles, inside jokes and high fives from your teammates
Cheers of the crowd or the hollow sound of the ball in an empty gym
Joy in achievements, wins and goals achieved
Sadness in the tough loss of in falling short
The hours of hard work to the minutes of actual game time
Sacrificing your body and free time for more time in the gym
Expectations of other bearing down on you
Eyes watching for one mistake, wanting you to fail
Lonely hours spent practicing alone with just your fears and doubts
Fear of failing yourself, your team, your fans
Running out into the gym, cheering filling your ears
Being introduced at the beginning of the game
The missed shot, bad pass, stupid turnover
Praise from your coach or that disappointed look
Going home to bed to nurse your injuries
The way the ball feels in your hands, a perfect fit
The joy in picking out the perfect shoes
Putting your jersey on the first time at the beginning of the season
Walking out of the locker room to love after a win, or a loss
Having a player you look up to, who is your role model
Or being a role model to a little girl yourself
The swish of the net, the squeak of your shoes
The hurt, the joy, the tears, the smiles
Teammates that become family
Finding out how strong you really are
Releasing the ball, knowing it will go in
The hustle play that stops an opponent's score
Butterflies flutttering during the national anthem
walking through the line congratulating your opponent
the anticipation in the locker room before the game
Cheers after a win, or solemn silence after a loss
the fear in the back our your mind of getting hurt
Pride in your school and team
Confidence in yourself and also your doubts
Sacrifices for the game
Or the joy it brings
The anger you feel when the words "It's just a game" are spoken
Because to you, its so much more
It's your love, your life
It makes you happy, sad, frustrated, angry, proud and changes your life
Lessons it teaches stay with you for a lifetime,
but so do the scars, injuries and bad memories
All this for the love of the game
To some its not worth the pain, sacrifice and hard work
Even for the glory, joy and achievement that follows closely behind
But for others, playing the game with all that comes with it, is more than worth it.
It's all worth it, for the love of the game...
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
<3 Basketball 2009 :)
The Star Spangled Banner
For 3...and its good!! :)
Moll Doll and I talking with the ref
Having fun on the bench in the 4th quarter...concentrating :)
I love these girls!!
Probably laughing at our goofy refs...geez..lol
My beautiful wifey and I! <3>
Team
Yeah...it was pretty intense..
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Homecoming 2008-Senior Year!
Class Color Day-Pink *Ashley and I!*
Before TP-ing! Jess, Ash and I...plus Jay's "thumbs up!"
My King and I! :)
Ash and I before TP-ing (I'm excited!)
Powderpuff Champs!!!
Ms. Ottos-we got her pretty good! :)
My best friend and TWIN-McKinsey and I
Homecoming Court 2008Sunday, September 21, 2008
Let It Go...
Let It Go
Tim McGraw
I’ve been caught sideways out here on the crossroads
Trying to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul
It’s hard when the devil won’t get off your back
It’s like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack
{Chorus}
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
Skeletons and Ghosts are hiding in the shadows
Threatening me with all the things that they know
Choices and mistakes, they all know my name
But I’m through holding in and holding onto all that pain
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
Got No more tears to cry
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I know I know I know I’ve been forgiven
I know I know I know I’m gonna start living
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Tim McGraw
I’ve been caught sideways out here on the crossroads
Trying to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul
It’s hard when the devil won’t get off your back
It’s like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack
{Chorus}
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
Skeletons and Ghosts are hiding in the shadows
Threatening me with all the things that they know
Choices and mistakes, they all know my name
But I’m through holding in and holding onto all that pain
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
Got No more tears to cry
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I know I know I know I’ve been forgiven
I know I know I know I’m gonna start living
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
Oh yeah
When It Rains...
When It Rains
Eli Young Band
Give me skies of black and blue, the way you make me feel.
Give me skies of green and red, cold winds will make it real.
Storms are brewing deep within of hurt and loss of pride.
It's good to see the world in pain when I take a walk outside.
When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.
when it rains, some people get down to sportin' a frown.
So I fit right in.
Yeah the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way I'd take the rain.
I don't care about politics or the hypocrites on my T.V.
I'm not mad at the girl who left because she couldn't be with me.
So make up the theories about the scandals and the lies.
Start out depressed, everything comes as a pleasant surprise.
When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.
When it rains, some people get down to sportin' a frown.
So I fit right in.
Yeah the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way I'd take the rain.
When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.
When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.
when it rains, some people get down to sportin' a frown.
So I fit right in.
Yeah the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way I'd take the rain.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Footprints
Footprints in the sand tell me where I've been. They show the hurt, sorrow and pain then the purity of the rain sweeps it away. The happiness here, the laughter there, showing all the people in which I care. Strength in the deep footprints, uncertainty in the light, no matter what it will be alright. The rain or the rising water come to sweep it all away, ready for the start of a brand new day.
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