Homecoming 2008-Senior Year!

Class Color Day-Pink *Ashley and I!*

Before TP-ing! Jess, Ash and I...plus Jay's "thumbs up!"

My King and I! :)

Ash and I before TP-ing (I'm excited!)

Powderpuff Champs!!!

Ms. Ottos-we got her pretty good! :)

My best friend and TWIN-McKinsey and I

Homecoming Court 2008

WOW! What a week! It's been really fun, really busy but also kind of bittersweet. My last Homecoming...I didn't know it would hit me like this. But it really has. This week's been full of ups and downs, just like high school has been. I was voted onto Homecoming Court, which was pretty great. But like all high schools, with court comes drama. In the end I didn't get queen, but its really ok. Its fitting how it ended. Sorry for being out of touch with everyone lately. Stuff's just been really busy. I love you all! :)

Let It Go...

Let It Go
Tim McGraw

I’ve been caught sideways out here on the crossroads
Trying to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul
It’s hard when the devil won’t get off your back
It’s like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack

{Chorus}
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah

Skeletons and Ghosts are hiding in the shadows
Threatening me with all the things that they know
Choices and mistakes, they all know my name
But I’m through holding in and holding onto all that pain

Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
Got No more tears to cry
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah

I know I know I know I’ve been forgiven
I know I know I know I’m gonna start living
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
Oh yeah

When It Rains...

When It Rains
Eli Young Band

Give me skies of black and blue, the way you make me feel.
Give me skies of green and red, cold winds will make it real.
Storms are brewing deep within of hurt and loss of pride.
It's good to see the world in pain when I take a walk outside.

When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.
when it rains, some people get down to sportin' a frown.
So I fit right in.
Yeah the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way I'd take the rain.

I don't care about politics or the hypocrites on my T.V.
I'm not mad at the girl who left because she couldn't be with me.
So make up the theories about the scandals and the lies.
Start out depressed, everything comes as a pleasant surprise.

When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.
When it rains, some people get down to sportin' a frown.
So I fit right in.
Yeah the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way I'd take the rain.

When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.

When it rains, I don't mind being lonely.
I cry right along with the sky.
When it rains, I don't pretend to be happy.
I don't even have to try.
when it rains, some people get down to sportin' a frown.
So I fit right in.
Yeah the sun may brighten your day but if I had my way I'd take the rain.

Footprints

Footprints in the sand tell me where I've been. They show the hurt, sorrow and pain then the purity of the rain sweeps it away. The happiness here, the laughter there, showing all the people in which I care. Strength in the deep footprints, uncertainty in the light, no matter what it will be alright. The rain or the rising water come to sweep it all away, ready for the start of a brand new day.

Fooled Me Once, Fooled Me Twice AKA the other half of the story

Fooled me once, you got my hopes up. Holding my hand you gave my stomach a million butterflies
Fooled me once, you seem too good to be true, I wish I would've known the real you.
Fooled me once, you treated me wrong, but I dismissed it for way too long.
Fooled me once, you captured my heart just to hand it back all broken apart.
Fooled me once, I vowed it would never happen again.

Fooled me twice, you sucked me in with beautiful words, not knowing they might as well of been swords.
Fooled me twice, you made me feel important, in the way you made your commitment.
Fooled me twice, my heart was saying "go" but my mind knew your real plan and kept telling me "no"
Fooled me twice it happened the same way as before and this time it was way to obvious to ignore
Fooled me twice, one too many times, never again will I eat up your lies.
Fooled me twice, the least time I swear, because this time was the last time for you I'll ever care.

"I Still Miss You" AKA the biggest mistake of my life

"I Still Miss You," singing that song to me. It opened my eyes so your feelings I could see. The hurt in your words, the hope in your voice, asking me to make a choice. Anticipation seeping through the chambers of your heart, right out of you. Into my heart your hope found its way and there it made its mind to stay. The look in your eyes, the feel of your touch, makes my heart flutter and butterflies pop up. Now why won't you give me a chance? You said your piece its my turn for mine. I heard that song today, I think it was a sign telling me that finally I'm yours and you are mine. So make your mind up, don't make me wait, if you wait too long it may be too late.


"I Still Miss You"
Keith Anderson

I've changed the presets in my truck
so those old songs don't sneak up
they still find me and remind me
yeah you come back that easy
try restaurants I've never been to
order new things off the menu
that I never tried cause you didn't like
two drinks in you were by my side

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don't know how to do this

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I still miss you
I still miss you...... yeah.... yeah.....

Amanda

Your deep blue eyes are staring intently into mine
Your golden brown hair is pulled back in a ponytail you did all by yourself
Smiling so big, it seems your face isn't big enough to contain it
Absently playing with my hair, you dont even know you're doing it
Singing softly a song you just made up
Sitting quietly on my lap, you sense I need a hug
So intuitive and smart, nothing ever gets past you
You cuddle into the crook of my arm, in that way you always do
The sky is the limit for you amazing girl
The world seems to stop at the beauty in which you dance and twirl
I don't know how you do it
With that twinkle in your eye
But because you loved me
I just couldn't say goodbye

My Hopes for You

This is my favorite repetition poem. It's dedicated to Tianna Ranae and my little girls in Beverly Hills.
I love you girls.

I hope you can walk
with your head held up high
I hope you can smile
At someone as they walk by
I hope you can love
Like no one has before
I hope you get your heart broken
But forgive, and go back for more
I hope that you can see
The beauty you keep inside
I hope that you can speak your mind
And not run away and hide
I hope you can stay strong
And love yourself enough
I hope you can smile through your tears
Even when its tough
Because I couldn't
Walk with my head held high
Because I didn't
Smile at someone as they walked by
Because I never could
Love like no one else before
Because I got my heart broken
But never returned for more
Because I never could see
The supposed beauty I had inside
Because I was too afraid
to speak my mind and not run away and hide
Because I let everything get to me
And did not love myself enough
But most of all I never
Could smile, especially when it was tough
This is what I hope for you
To make better decisions than I
Because before you know it
The time just flies on by.

Repetition Poem

This is a repetition poem. Pretty self-explanatory. :)

I'm still here today
because of their smiles
and the words they said to me

I'm still here today
because their innocence
opened my eyes to see

I'm still here today
because their love calmed
the raging storm in me

I'm still here today
because of the way
they looked at me

I'm still here today
because their hope
and faith in me

I'm still here today
because of her honesty
In telling how much she loved me

Cinquain Poems

These are Cinquain poems.

Noun-
two adjectives-
two "ing" verbs-
a phrase about the subject-
adjective or noun which renames subject

Basketball
strategy, skill
running, shooting, passing
The key to my heart
My love


Children
innocent, mischievous
jumping, running, laughing
Can look right into your heart
Saviors of my life


Angela
honest, strong
working, supporting, leading
Helps to keep my strong
My rock


Mountains
huge, imposing
standing, guarding, signaling
Overpowering any weakness
Protection

Haiku Poems

These are my Haiku poems for College Creative Writing...

She starts over again
Like sand swept free of footprints
After the high tide


Fortress-like mountains
Seem to live in the light clouds
Her favorite place


The small creek gurgles
Like a young child giggles
Not a well-kept secret


The thunder rumbles
Lightning streaks across the sky
Storm inside her heart


Wild horse take flight
Cougar hiding in the bushes
Guard always raised


The bright sun rises
Starting a new chapter
In her broken life

Cassie

**Dedicated to you Jessica!

Cassie-
Loyal, caring, intuitive
Sister of Schyler and Gabriel
Lover of handmade notes, heart-to-heart talks
and the innocence of a child's laughter
Who feels comfortable on the court, at peace in the silence
and trusting of few
Who needs the freedom of choice, strength of a close confidante
and the love of a child
Who gives support, an ear for listening and a strong opinion
Who fears the dentist, the future and losing herself completely
Who would like to see everlasting "Olympics peace," children
with full bellies and housing for the homeless
Who lives among the peaceful fields that sustain us all
(My last name)-

Portrait of Me

Quiet confidence. Walking through the halls absorbed in her own thoughts. Intuitive. A close friend walks by and she reads the turmoil in their eyes. Hard to approach. Something about her seems so preoccupied all the time. Her inner strength is obvious to everyone but herself.

She scans the crowd with a solemn look on her face. Searching the many faces, taking note of the obvious stories written across them. Looking for a friend, strength in numbers. Her friend's support has a irreplaceable role in her overly cluttered life.

A t-shirt and jeans. Her trademark dress. Dressing always ready for a game of pick-up. She walks with long, slow strides like she's walking through water. Her feet seem to hold her back. No makeup. She has no one to impress. Hair up and out of her face. Always easier to think. Blending in to the crowd of people, she quietly resumes her everyday routine.

You Know Me Best

The look in my eyes
Shows you I'm stressed
The wild urgency
You know I won't confess

You know when I'm down
Hurt, beaten and sad
You know my strengths
My weaknesses and what makes me mad

My likes and dislikes
Are second nature for you
Sometimes you know how I feel
Even before I do

The long talks about
Anything and everything it seems
Has opened your eyes
To my secret hopes and dreams

If someday I am
Half as amazing as you
I'll be who I am then
Because of what you got me through

Faltering Faith

Many have their doubts
Some have many, some have few
Some follow in his footsteps
Do you know them, I do

The ones everyone counts on
To lead them through their plight
Because of their relationship with Him
They are expected to make things right

But the more they are pushed
To know Him and what to do
The more stress and responsibility
As time goes on they lose sight of Him too

Walking in the darkness
Hoping to find the light
But everywhere you turn
The more sins you have to fight

You finally break down
And give up on the light
Turn back toward the sin
And give it all your fight

The sin attacks your soul
From every direction it attacks
The more it comes
The more your faith lacks

You have to come to a decision
What will it be?
Will you go back to Him
Or forever fail to see?

Mission Trip to Denver-mostly extracurriculars :)

Us at Casa Bonita with the cliff divers











My friend Tonya from Nebraska, Bailey and I






Eliza, Tonya, Bailey and I in the mountains








Schyler, Nate, Tonya and I in the mountains








My new friend Madison (7) and I

Trip To D.C.

Abraham Lincoln Memorial















The Capital of the United States of America








Us in the garden in front of the Capital building








Us in front of the Iwa Jima Monument









Gabe and I at the Air & Space Museum







Gabe in front of the Vietnam wall

Pure As Falling Rain

Twinkling eyes
Full smiles that are true
Makes your heart flutter
That at one time that was you

Unscathed by the cruel world
Full of trust, not knowing any pain
Seeing the best in anyone
Pure as falling rain

Endless imaginations
Hearts full of unconditional love
If only you could bottle
The untainted fingerprints of up above

Sensitive to their surroundings
The first to know something's wrong
They might no know what or why
But they know all along

To live their life
Where the worst is a toy taken away
To feel safe and secure
And not sugarcoat what you say

One's life is a fragile thing
Just as the purity of a child
But put them together and like magic
Regardless of life's hardships, they make you smile


A.M.H J.A.H. A.E.B A.P.B A.R.B L.P.B.

Heaven On Earth

Every year spent in joyful anticipation
To spend time in Beverly Hills, Michigan
Her heaven on Earth

All the time spent relaxing with no worries
Receiving almost royal treatment for being herself
A solution for failing self-esteem

Missing people, but never home, she looks back
On that awful year, where this trip is what kept her going
Her love and gratitude toward them grows

Now with all the anticipation gone, she tearfully says goodbye
In the back of the van, she watches as they disappear
And at once, she wonders, "What now?"

Days go by and even though the hurt doesn't subside, it's not as prominent
Plastering on that fake smile and putting one foot in front of the other
Her heart, she left in their care

As she trudges toward the new year, she hopes conditions improve
She hopes that memories from this summer will keep her going
Until finally, heaven is reached again next year

From Where You Are-Lifehouse

In memory of Madey Kleve and Logan Scheurmann...

Prayer Request...

As a lot of you know, I made a really good friend two years ago on my mission trip to Rosebud Reservation in Mission, SD. named Diana. She just texted me with news that four friends of hers were in a very serious car crash this week. One of them didn't make it, Madeysen Kleve, who also attended the mission trip with us. This just kind of hits home, because although it was Madey this time, it could have been me or any of my close friends. I'm asking for prayers for Madey's family and friends and also the other three teens in the car; Mitch, Brie and Kacie. Mitch and Kacie are in the hospital, Mitch just got out of intensive care for a collapsed lung, cracked skull and other things and Kacie is still in the ICU as of right now. Brie was driving and wasn't seriously injured, but I would appreciate prayers for all of them. Also, they were all set to graduate this Sunday which unfortunately Madey won't be able to. Kacie is valedictorian and Mitch is salutatorian. Please pray for all their friends and family. It could have easily happened in our community. Praise God it didn't, but remember these friends of mine and their families. Thank you and I love all of you!

Trust? I Think Not...

As the thunder rolls outside
Panic ripples through me in waves
Not because of the pending storm
But the pending storm building up inside

The tornado of “what ifs” and “maybes” hit me
Ripping through the people who can be trusted
And the people that can’t until
Finally realizing only a fine line lies between

At one time trust was second nature
But after each piece of my heart was viciously ripped out
I finally began to understand
No one’s intentions are pure

Resolving to never trust again
I set back out into the cruel world
Where once again I was lured in
And unsurprisingly, hurt again

As routine as this has become, it still hurt
Time went on and the offenders got closer
Until the day came the one I thought I could always count on
Swooped in and killed my remaining trust dead

Though my heart, hardened from incidents of the past
Seemed beyond surprise and agony
It rose to the occasion and in spite of my good act
My heart could take no more, I could not last

With new found resolve
I make my way out of the shadows again
In the back of my mind
Always dreading, always knowing, the hurt will come again


"It takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it."

What to Say...

What are you supposed to say
To someone who’s been there
Through the good times and the bad

How are you supposed to thank
Someone who makes you smile
And makes you forget you’re sad

How are you supposed to describe
The person who goes the extra mile
Just to light up your day

What are you supposed to say
To the person who to you, finally shows
Sometimes people do come into your life to stay

How are you supposed to thank
The person who always knows
Just what to say or to do

How are you supposed to describe
The person who is so respected
And to herself stays true

What are you supposed to say
To the person who has affected
Monumental choices you have made

How are you supposed to thank
The person that unknowingly impacted your decision
Whether it would be worth it if you stayed

How are you supposed to describe
The person who helped you to envision
Just who you want to be

I really don’t know how to thank
The person who’s been there to watch me fly and to watch me fall
So I just want to tell her that her presence in my life
Is the best gift of them all

Blessed

It’s funny how casually people come into your life
Most walk in and walk out just as fast
But some stay awhile and teach a lesson
While others are perfect for the stage you’re at

Many people have walked in and out of my life
To teach me things like forgiveness and how to make friendships last
Though most walk in to eventually walk out
There are others that don’t quite go so fast

The ones that walk in to stay
In the end are most important of all
They’re there through all the lessons learned
And to pick you up when you fall

They are the ones I won’t forget
As I go on with my life
Because I know when the darkness comes
That they will be my light

As I get older and start out into the world
I remember what I’ve been taught
I’ve learned to laugh, love and dream
But most of all to be thankful for all I’ve got

With all that I have, I’m very blessed
Because most kids just don’t have
People to love and to support them
Like the amazing people that I’ve had

There’s no way these words can describe
All the things you have done for me
I just hope that someday I have the strength
To save someone like you saved me

“God determines who walks into your life; it’s up to you to decide who you let leave, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go.”

Check out my Slide Show!

The Same Game

With pity in their eyes
They tell me things will be ok
Another relationship meets its demise
Because no one knows what to say

The hurt that surrounds me
Is because of what I am
I’m not who they want me to be
Who knows if I will be again

They all promise change will not happen
That they’ll love me all the same
But once they hear of this terrible action
They all play the same game

The name of the game-
Avoid any real interaction
Nothing can ever be the same
Try to be real careful
So you won’t be the one to blame

Averting your eyes from my arms
Your forced to look at my face
You don’t know how the look of alarm
Can make my heart race

Behind my back people ask
If there’s anything wrong with me
But they don’t know I’ve put on my best mask
So unless I show them, they’ll never see

People ask where they come from
If they came from a dog or cat
The lies can be believable to some
But most just smell a “rat”

You see the recognition in their eyes
Then the disgust and fear
And with a pity sigh
Another friend disappears

Will I ever live again
Without the constant feeling
The evil will sneak in again
And send my whole life reeling

I wish that someday it will leave
That I could live with no doubts or fears
That in goodness I could totally believe
Because now the moment nears

The moment where I need to make a decision
That will affect my future
The decision whether to give up this so called sin
Or forever live my life in torture

I know what I want to say
I know what I have to do
But the more I say another day
I lose another day to start new

So right now I’m going to start
To try and turn over this new leaf
I know it will take a lot of support and heart
But right now, in God I lay my belief