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The Same Game

With pity in their eyes
They tell me things will be ok
Another relationship meets its demise
Because no one knows what to say

The hurt that surrounds me
Is because of what I am
I’m not who they want me to be
Who knows if I will be again

They all promise change will not happen
That they’ll love me all the same
But once they hear of this terrible action
They all play the same game

The name of the game-
Avoid any real interaction
Nothing can ever be the same
Try to be real careful
So you won’t be the one to blame

Averting your eyes from my arms
Your forced to look at my face
You don’t know how the look of alarm
Can make my heart race

Behind my back people ask
If there’s anything wrong with me
But they don’t know I’ve put on my best mask
So unless I show them, they’ll never see

People ask where they come from
If they came from a dog or cat
The lies can be believable to some
But most just smell a “rat”

You see the recognition in their eyes
Then the disgust and fear
And with a pity sigh
Another friend disappears

Will I ever live again
Without the constant feeling
The evil will sneak in again
And send my whole life reeling

I wish that someday it will leave
That I could live with no doubts or fears
That in goodness I could totally believe
Because now the moment nears

The moment where I need to make a decision
That will affect my future
The decision whether to give up this so called sin
Or forever live my life in torture

I know what I want to say
I know what I have to do
But the more I say another day
I lose another day to start new

So right now I’m going to start
To try and turn over this new leaf
I know it will take a lot of support and heart
But right now, in God I lay my belief