If only I could get away
Where I wasn’t put on a pedestal
To show everyone else how to act
How to feel and what to say
If only I could get away
From the expectations
To be perfect, innocent and happy
If only I could get away
From my disappointing accomplishments
That look good, but feel way short of my goals
If only I could get away
Where people wouldn’t care about anything
But who I am and how I make them feel
If only I could get away
From all the questions I have about my future
What I’ll do and who I’ll be
And just see the me that’s here right now
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
What's Going on in Cassie's Life...
Ok. I know I haven't written in awhile so I thought I would let all all my "blog groupies" :) know how everything is doing. Basketball started two weeks ago and we just had our jamboree last night. I really like how the team is coming together and I see an amazing season ahead of us as long as we all work hard, work together and stay focused. It'll be really exciting to see how our team does this year...
School sucks. Period. I think I might drop out. Ok, I won't drop out but school is getting really tough lately. Everyone says thats what comes with being a junior but man, I'm major stressed about my grades. I hope it wil all work out and my grades will come up, they always do. But I'm still worried...
Jazz Band. It's interesting to say the least. We have a lot of new people including our director. He is amazing and fun but its been hard getting used to someone other than Mrs. Hanna especially for jazz band. Im first trumpet and Schy's second. We both are working on solos this year...wish us luck. (we need it!)
So.. for the people I haven't told already...my birthday is on Saturday! yay! It always amazes me, the older you get, the less excited you are. But the sooner my bday is over, the sooner Christms comes!
So that's about it here. We are going to be very busy starting next week with basketball games. From next week to the beginning of February we are going to be gone at games almost every Monday, Tuesday, some Thursdays and Fridays. woo hoo! at least it's for something worth while like basketball!
Monday, October 15, 2007
The Joys of Smoking-satire
here it is... it's not very good considering i procrastinate majorly because i didn't know what to write about and wrote it in two hours the night before it was due... :s
The joys of smoking
Have you ever walked past someone on the street that is smoking, breathed in that scent and said, “Wow that smells good?” Maybe you have checked into a smoking hotel room, cuddled up in the covers that smelled so strongly of smoke and slept like a baby. Perhaps you have strolled into a restaurant to eat, just to be hit with that strong smoke aroma that sticks with you as you eat and even after you leave. Or maybe, you have got a whiff of someone’s breath after they smoke. Wow, now that’s a smell! Seriously, who cares if people like or dislike the smell of smoke as long as you can smoke, right?
Do you ever get tired walking up a couple flights of steps? Long-time smokers do. Sometimes they can’t even talk without a coughing spell and they definitely can’t sing. But that’s ok. That’s why we have elevators, cough drops and famous singers that can do everything for them. With all these inventions geared toward smokers, why don’t we all smoke?
Smoking can also save you money. You don’t have to buy nail polish because you nails already have a yellowish tint to them. Perfume is also an unneeded object considering you already have a built-in perfume in your clothes, hair and breath from your cigarettes. Dentist visits become unnecessary because smoking causes irreversible damage to your teeth and you can pretty much forget any gym memberships because you can hardly walk from your car into the gym without feeling out of breath. But most importantly, you are saving yourself money because the more you smoke the more likely it is for you to die at a young age. The shorter you live, the less the money you have to spend on yourself.
Do you realize that some people are afraid to die? Some people agonize about how they will die and when. Smokers are lucky because a large majority of them know exactly how they will die and when. They know that they will likely die of lung cancer, emphysema or any other smoking-related disease, that the disease will cause them a long and painful death and they will die at a lot earlier age then others. Aren’t smokers lucky?
Have you ever met someone who hates to go to school or work? The habit they need to pick up is smoking. Smoking makes you more susceptible to sickness such as colds and flu’s. So the more you smoke, the more susceptible you are to diseases, the less you have to go to work.
If you are a smoker and sit on the bench a lot in sports then you are lucky. Most kids’ excuses for sitting on the bench are lame like “the coach doesn’t like me,” but if you are a smoker you have a very valid excuse. Smoking makes you tire easily, reduces visual judgment and slows your reaction speeds. Maybe while you’re sitting with all your benchwarmer buddies you could share your habit with them so they can have a good excuse too.
Smoking is also the number one entrance drug. So if you were thinking about trying out any other drugs, then smoking is just the thing for you. All you’ll have to do is get comfortable smoking and you will find better things to do from smoking marijuana to shooting up with heroine. You see, smoking leads into bigger and better things.
Do you sometimes feel left out at school or in social situations? If you do, you should take up smoking. A lot of smokers think that smoking helps you to make friends, look cool and feel better. So now, instead of sitting all alone in the lunchroom you can find that secret spot where all the other smokers go to smoke and all slowly die together. Doesn’t that sound a lot more fun then being uncomfortable during your breaks at school?
Are you one of those people who like to take risks? Well if you are, you should take up smoking. Smoking is a very big risk, especially for teens. Smoking is something you have to hide from your parents, your teachers and even some of your friends. But what makes it the biggest risk of all is that it is illegal for anyone to purchase if you are less than eighteen years old. So for any of you risk takers, smoking is definitely the risk you should take!
As you can see, smoking has a lot more pros than cons. It doesn’t matter if you look bad, smell bad or die at an early age because smoking is totally worth all the suffering it will cause you. It helps you make more friends and to bond with them, it saves you money and it gives you that risk-fix that you sometimes need to feel good about yourself. So because of all these reasons I have given you, I hope this paper has persuaded you to pick up the habit of a lifetime…smoking!
The joys of smoking
Have you ever walked past someone on the street that is smoking, breathed in that scent and said, “Wow that smells good?” Maybe you have checked into a smoking hotel room, cuddled up in the covers that smelled so strongly of smoke and slept like a baby. Perhaps you have strolled into a restaurant to eat, just to be hit with that strong smoke aroma that sticks with you as you eat and even after you leave. Or maybe, you have got a whiff of someone’s breath after they smoke. Wow, now that’s a smell! Seriously, who cares if people like or dislike the smell of smoke as long as you can smoke, right?
Do you ever get tired walking up a couple flights of steps? Long-time smokers do. Sometimes they can’t even talk without a coughing spell and they definitely can’t sing. But that’s ok. That’s why we have elevators, cough drops and famous singers that can do everything for them. With all these inventions geared toward smokers, why don’t we all smoke?
Smoking can also save you money. You don’t have to buy nail polish because you nails already have a yellowish tint to them. Perfume is also an unneeded object considering you already have a built-in perfume in your clothes, hair and breath from your cigarettes. Dentist visits become unnecessary because smoking causes irreversible damage to your teeth and you can pretty much forget any gym memberships because you can hardly walk from your car into the gym without feeling out of breath. But most importantly, you are saving yourself money because the more you smoke the more likely it is for you to die at a young age. The shorter you live, the less the money you have to spend on yourself.
Do you realize that some people are afraid to die? Some people agonize about how they will die and when. Smokers are lucky because a large majority of them know exactly how they will die and when. They know that they will likely die of lung cancer, emphysema or any other smoking-related disease, that the disease will cause them a long and painful death and they will die at a lot earlier age then others. Aren’t smokers lucky?
Have you ever met someone who hates to go to school or work? The habit they need to pick up is smoking. Smoking makes you more susceptible to sickness such as colds and flu’s. So the more you smoke, the more susceptible you are to diseases, the less you have to go to work.
If you are a smoker and sit on the bench a lot in sports then you are lucky. Most kids’ excuses for sitting on the bench are lame like “the coach doesn’t like me,” but if you are a smoker you have a very valid excuse. Smoking makes you tire easily, reduces visual judgment and slows your reaction speeds. Maybe while you’re sitting with all your benchwarmer buddies you could share your habit with them so they can have a good excuse too.
Smoking is also the number one entrance drug. So if you were thinking about trying out any other drugs, then smoking is just the thing for you. All you’ll have to do is get comfortable smoking and you will find better things to do from smoking marijuana to shooting up with heroine. You see, smoking leads into bigger and better things.
Do you sometimes feel left out at school or in social situations? If you do, you should take up smoking. A lot of smokers think that smoking helps you to make friends, look cool and feel better. So now, instead of sitting all alone in the lunchroom you can find that secret spot where all the other smokers go to smoke and all slowly die together. Doesn’t that sound a lot more fun then being uncomfortable during your breaks at school?
Are you one of those people who like to take risks? Well if you are, you should take up smoking. Smoking is a very big risk, especially for teens. Smoking is something you have to hide from your parents, your teachers and even some of your friends. But what makes it the biggest risk of all is that it is illegal for anyone to purchase if you are less than eighteen years old. So for any of you risk takers, smoking is definitely the risk you should take!
As you can see, smoking has a lot more pros than cons. It doesn’t matter if you look bad, smell bad or die at an early age because smoking is totally worth all the suffering it will cause you. It helps you make more friends and to bond with them, it saves you money and it gives you that risk-fix that you sometimes need to feel good about yourself. So because of all these reasons I have given you, I hope this paper has persuaded you to pick up the habit of a lifetime…smoking!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
NEED HELP!
I'm doing a satire paper for english and I have NO IDEA about what to do. A lot of people are doing drugs, smoking, drinking, etc. but I wanted to make mine more unique. Not as run-of-the-mill. If you guys have any ideas, let me know. PLEASE AND THANK YOU! :)
Saturday, September 22, 2007
One Nation Under God
persusive essay for college prep...
Every morning in the United States, schools across America are reciting the pledge of allegiance. “I pledge allegiance, to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands; one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” Sounds innocent enough right? Yet, the pledge of allegiance is under more criticism everyday for having the two words, ‘under God’ in it. They have a right to be concerned, but I think that these two words should be in the pledge to stay.
The Pledge of Allegiance was written by Baptist minister, Francis Bellamy in 1892. The thing that most people don’t know is that the original pledge written in 1892 isn’t the same pledge that we recite today. The pledge has undergone a couple of changes in the last 115 years. The original pledge read, “I pledge allegiance to my flag and the Republic for which it stands; one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
In 1923 the words “I pledge allegiance to my flag” were changed to “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States.” Then in 1924 the words “of America” were added and finally in 1952, the two words “under God” made their way into the pledge. President Dwight D. Eisenhower approved the addition of the two words, not knowing that these words would become so controversial.
The statement “under God” is opposed by some people because they think it goes against the Bill of Rights and the separation of church and state. The Establishment Clause states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.” These people have a right to be concerned about this but is adding ‘under God’ really establishing religion or is it just distinguishing us from the nations who answer to no higher power than the state?
Most people think that since the pledge didn’t have ‘under God’ in it before, that the founding fathers didn’t want the statement to be a part of it. Although, those people also think that the founding fathers wrote the pledge. That is incorrect considering the pledge was written by one person. Therefore, it was based upon one person’s opinions and beliefs. The truth of the matter is that almost all the founding fathers were profoundly Christian and the nation was established on Christian principles. ‘Under God’ is the recognition of the faith of the founding fathers and the inspiration that led us to be the greatest nation in the history of the world.
I think that there’s more controversy in change then there is in acceptance. The controversy over these two words is constantly being fueled by less people. In a recent poll by CNN.com, ninety percent of Americans agree the pledge should stay written how it is and ten percent of Americans say that it should be restored to its original version. You’d think that with such a high percentage to keep the pledge as is, the argument would die down right? Unfortunately that’s wrong, we hear more about the ten percent of people against the pledge than we hear about the ninety percent of people who are for keeping the pledge of allegiance how it is. What is wrong with this picture? Are we going to let that ten percent of people affect the pledge that we have grown up reciting?
If you still are against keeping these two words in the pledge try to think about it this way. This nation is home to approximately three hundred million people all with different religions, cultures and ideas. If the government were to try to cater to all of these different groups, how do you think our country would be able to function? So why do we have to change these two words that have worked for over fifty years because ten percent of the population doesn’t agree with it? It just doesn’t make sense.
I think, while keeping the words ‘under God’ in the pledge there is a way to end this controversy. Any people who don’t agree with those words just don’t have to say them. Why change the whole pledge when all those people would have to do is remain silent during that part of the pledge or just choose not to recite the pledge of allegiance at all? They have the right to their own beliefs, if they don’t believe in the words ‘under God’ then they don’t have to say them. This agreement would save a lot of trouble for our government, who is busy working on more important things.
It is justifiable that the words ‘under God’ should stay in the pledge of allegiance because our nation was founded on Christian beliefs. People who don’t agree with the pledge of allegiance, in my opinion, aren’t respecting our founding fathers and how great they enabled this country to become. People who are offended by the pledge don’t realize that the words ‘under God’ are not a personal attack on them, these words are and always have been the most important words to our nation and its foundation. ‘One nation, under God’ are the words that our country were founded on and the idea that it will forever exist on.
Every morning in the United States, schools across America are reciting the pledge of allegiance. “I pledge allegiance, to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands; one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” Sounds innocent enough right? Yet, the pledge of allegiance is under more criticism everyday for having the two words, ‘under God’ in it. They have a right to be concerned, but I think that these two words should be in the pledge to stay.
The Pledge of Allegiance was written by Baptist minister, Francis Bellamy in 1892. The thing that most people don’t know is that the original pledge written in 1892 isn’t the same pledge that we recite today. The pledge has undergone a couple of changes in the last 115 years. The original pledge read, “I pledge allegiance to my flag and the Republic for which it stands; one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
In 1923 the words “I pledge allegiance to my flag” were changed to “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States.” Then in 1924 the words “of America” were added and finally in 1952, the two words “under God” made their way into the pledge. President Dwight D. Eisenhower approved the addition of the two words, not knowing that these words would become so controversial.
The statement “under God” is opposed by some people because they think it goes against the Bill of Rights and the separation of church and state. The Establishment Clause states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.” These people have a right to be concerned about this but is adding ‘under God’ really establishing religion or is it just distinguishing us from the nations who answer to no higher power than the state?
Most people think that since the pledge didn’t have ‘under God’ in it before, that the founding fathers didn’t want the statement to be a part of it. Although, those people also think that the founding fathers wrote the pledge. That is incorrect considering the pledge was written by one person. Therefore, it was based upon one person’s opinions and beliefs. The truth of the matter is that almost all the founding fathers were profoundly Christian and the nation was established on Christian principles. ‘Under God’ is the recognition of the faith of the founding fathers and the inspiration that led us to be the greatest nation in the history of the world.
I think that there’s more controversy in change then there is in acceptance. The controversy over these two words is constantly being fueled by less people. In a recent poll by CNN.com, ninety percent of Americans agree the pledge should stay written how it is and ten percent of Americans say that it should be restored to its original version. You’d think that with such a high percentage to keep the pledge as is, the argument would die down right? Unfortunately that’s wrong, we hear more about the ten percent of people against the pledge than we hear about the ninety percent of people who are for keeping the pledge of allegiance how it is. What is wrong with this picture? Are we going to let that ten percent of people affect the pledge that we have grown up reciting?
If you still are against keeping these two words in the pledge try to think about it this way. This nation is home to approximately three hundred million people all with different religions, cultures and ideas. If the government were to try to cater to all of these different groups, how do you think our country would be able to function? So why do we have to change these two words that have worked for over fifty years because ten percent of the population doesn’t agree with it? It just doesn’t make sense.
I think, while keeping the words ‘under God’ in the pledge there is a way to end this controversy. Any people who don’t agree with those words just don’t have to say them. Why change the whole pledge when all those people would have to do is remain silent during that part of the pledge or just choose not to recite the pledge of allegiance at all? They have the right to their own beliefs, if they don’t believe in the words ‘under God’ then they don’t have to say them. This agreement would save a lot of trouble for our government, who is busy working on more important things.
It is justifiable that the words ‘under God’ should stay in the pledge of allegiance because our nation was founded on Christian beliefs. People who don’t agree with the pledge of allegiance, in my opinion, aren’t respecting our founding fathers and how great they enabled this country to become. People who are offended by the pledge don’t realize that the words ‘under God’ are not a personal attack on them, these words are and always have been the most important words to our nation and its foundation. ‘One nation, under God’ are the words that our country were founded on and the idea that it will forever exist on.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
End of Homecoming Week
Homecoming is now officially over and I can truly say I'm pretty glad. Other that getting out of school early Friday for the parade, the week wasn't all that special. I was really happy with who got king and queen, they were actually the two i voted for, which was pretty great.
powderpuff wasn't all it was cracked up to be. i mean, it was fun and it was ok but there was a lot of drama going on. i played some quarterback, center and end... but i must say the place i was the best at was middle linebacker. i had 5 'tackles', three knocked down passes and the interception to save the game. it was fun.
friday night didn't bring us a win, but we are all looking forward to next week and to playing crb. it should be a pretty evenly matched, good game.
so that's pretty much the end of the week...nothing much exciting happened which is good because usually exciting means bad. i was proud of how us, as a school, handled homecoming and as far as I know, we are going to be able to keep all of our privledges for next year. yay us!
powderpuff wasn't all it was cracked up to be. i mean, it was fun and it was ok but there was a lot of drama going on. i played some quarterback, center and end... but i must say the place i was the best at was middle linebacker. i had 5 'tackles', three knocked down passes and the interception to save the game. it was fun.
friday night didn't bring us a win, but we are all looking forward to next week and to playing crb. it should be a pretty evenly matched, good game.
so that's pretty much the end of the week...nothing much exciting happened which is good because usually exciting means bad. i was proud of how us, as a school, handled homecoming and as far as I know, we are going to be able to keep all of our privledges for next year. yay us!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Update on Homecoming, etc.
So my paper "Home Sweet Home" is due tomorrow and I've made a few changes, but it isn't that much different from the one below so I probably won't put this other one on their unless someone requests it and I'd be happy to put it up.
Homecoming is this week and can you say DRAMA?? Oh my goodness...it's all "who did you vote for" or "did you vote for me?" It's crazy! I'm glad we only have to deal with all this for only a week. For the most part the court is predictable... hopefully the most deserving wins. I won't say who I think that is, but it would be ridiculous if this person didn't get it for the girls. It's a total toss up for the guys though, it will be interesting to see who ends up with it.
So, the school brought back Powderpuff football this year and I'm soo excited! I've been waiting my whole life for this! I've always been around football because of my dad and for the longest time I wanted to play in jr. high and high school. Now, I'm glad I didn't, but I'm so excited for this! Say hello to the "pink team" quarterback baby!
What else? Let's see, my life pretty much consists of algebra 3 assignments I can't seem to do, chemistry labs that are crazy difficult, killer basketball workouts that make me walk like some old lady and naps on Mrs. K's floor during lunch because I'm so wiped all the time. Other than that life is beautiful! :)
So that's pretty much what I'm up to, I'll probably let you know how the rest of Homecoming week goes, it's usually pretty fun. Love you guys!
*CB
Homecoming is this week and can you say DRAMA?? Oh my goodness...it's all "who did you vote for" or "did you vote for me?" It's crazy! I'm glad we only have to deal with all this for only a week. For the most part the court is predictable... hopefully the most deserving wins. I won't say who I think that is, but it would be ridiculous if this person didn't get it for the girls. It's a total toss up for the guys though, it will be interesting to see who ends up with it.
So, the school brought back Powderpuff football this year and I'm soo excited! I've been waiting my whole life for this! I've always been around football because of my dad and for the longest time I wanted to play in jr. high and high school. Now, I'm glad I didn't, but I'm so excited for this! Say hello to the "pink team" quarterback baby!
What else? Let's see, my life pretty much consists of algebra 3 assignments I can't seem to do, chemistry labs that are crazy difficult, killer basketball workouts that make me walk like some old lady and naps on Mrs. K's floor during lunch because I'm so wiped all the time. Other than that life is beautiful! :)
So that's pretty much what I'm up to, I'll probably let you know how the rest of Homecoming week goes, it's usually pretty fun. Love you guys!
*CB
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Home Sweet Home
So I decided on "home" to be my topic. (thanks to whoever commented and gave me the idea!) I just got done writing it so I haven't done any tweaking or anything so I may change it later.. but here it is!
Home Sweet Home
Where do you call home? To some it might be the place where you are living now. A place that is always there for you to go to, to sleep, socialize and to shelter you. For others, their home is the place where they grew up, whether it be there house, their state or their country. Some people consider home the place where their loved ones are, it doesn’t matter where it is, as long as they are surrounded by family. Still others, when asked provide a place like a church or other place where they feel comfortable and safe as their home. In the dictionary the definition for home is “any place of residence or refuge.” In this paper I’ll explore the many meanings of the word home.
Home is where the heart is. This means that your home is with the person or in the place you love most. I love this quote, because it has a big meaning in my life. My home, is the house I live in now. This house, was built **** years ago by my great-great grandfather. This house, will always be my true home, for it is where my heart is. I love this house because if you lay really quiet you can hear its heartbeat. The heartbeat of love and hard work from my family that lived here before I did. It gives me comfort to know that when I touch any of the walls or doors that my family that I love so much touched them before me. Home is definitely where the heart is, especially when your home has a heartbeat of it’s own.
“Home is place you grow up wanting to leave and grow old wanting to come back to.” These words by John Ed Pierce are very true. As a child and teenager you grow up dreaming of the time you can get out on your own. But the longer you’re away from home, the more you begin to realize what you had there. Home is somewhere you will always be welcomed and loved. As these teenagers grow up to be adults this quote holds true. But in my opinion, it doesn’t mean what it seems to mean. Though it may hold some truth to it, the home that he describes wanting to go back to may not be the home that he grew up in. It may be the home he will make, for his own family that is modeled after the home of his childhood.
The word home doesn’t always mean the place where you live. To many, it’s with the people you live with which is what makes it home. Nancy Reagan said, “I have been very happy with my homes, but homes are no more than the people who live in them. For example, after Hurricane Katrina many, many people had to leave their homes in New Orleans and find new places to live. This was very hard on all of them, considering New Orleans is their hometown. But these people agree that as long as they still have their families, they can find a new home because what makes it home, is the people who live with them.
Home may not be where you live, but where they understand you. For some, the meaning of home has no connection to where they live or grew up. It may be a place like a church, building or even park where you feel comfortable and at peace. A place that you can be yourself and not worry about what others think. A place where you can relax and know that you will be safe or a place that holds many memories. I know someone whose home is in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. This place, where he spent a lot of time in his childhood is where he feels at home because of the memories he has there. Colorado will always hold a place in his heart because of the many memories that were made and that are still being made. I also know someone whose home is in the fields of Iowa where he plants, nurtures and harvests his crops. This is where he grew up and spent all of his life. Since he was young, this has been his job, his passion and his home.
Home is a shelter from storms, all sorts of storms. People go back home for comfort, for refuge from life’s many trials. This is because home is the first place they were comforted, the first place they felt safe. This is why when an adult has no place to go, they end up where they grew up. A place where they can get back on their feet and back into their lives again. John Denver’s song “Take Me Home Country Roads” portrays the real meaning of home. The lyrics, “Almost heaven, West Virginia” and “Take me Home, country roads, to the place, I belong…” portrays the passion he has for his home, his state and everything that comes with it.
Harriet Breecher Stowe once said, “Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserved; it is life’s dress rehearsal, its backroom, it’s dressing room.” Home is where you become yourself. The person you will be for the rest of your life. It is who you are, what you are and who you will be. It will always be a part of you.
I think that Frederick Robertson sums up the meaning of home in this one quote, “Home is the one place in all this world where hearts of sure of each other. It is a place of confidence. It is the place where you can tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.” So wherever your home may be, let it be “Home Sweet Home.”
Home Sweet Home
Where do you call home? To some it might be the place where you are living now. A place that is always there for you to go to, to sleep, socialize and to shelter you. For others, their home is the place where they grew up, whether it be there house, their state or their country. Some people consider home the place where their loved ones are, it doesn’t matter where it is, as long as they are surrounded by family. Still others, when asked provide a place like a church or other place where they feel comfortable and safe as their home. In the dictionary the definition for home is “any place of residence or refuge.” In this paper I’ll explore the many meanings of the word home.
Home is where the heart is. This means that your home is with the person or in the place you love most. I love this quote, because it has a big meaning in my life. My home, is the house I live in now. This house, was built **** years ago by my great-great grandfather. This house, will always be my true home, for it is where my heart is. I love this house because if you lay really quiet you can hear its heartbeat. The heartbeat of love and hard work from my family that lived here before I did. It gives me comfort to know that when I touch any of the walls or doors that my family that I love so much touched them before me. Home is definitely where the heart is, especially when your home has a heartbeat of it’s own.
“Home is place you grow up wanting to leave and grow old wanting to come back to.” These words by John Ed Pierce are very true. As a child and teenager you grow up dreaming of the time you can get out on your own. But the longer you’re away from home, the more you begin to realize what you had there. Home is somewhere you will always be welcomed and loved. As these teenagers grow up to be adults this quote holds true. But in my opinion, it doesn’t mean what it seems to mean. Though it may hold some truth to it, the home that he describes wanting to go back to may not be the home that he grew up in. It may be the home he will make, for his own family that is modeled after the home of his childhood.
The word home doesn’t always mean the place where you live. To many, it’s with the people you live with which is what makes it home. Nancy Reagan said, “I have been very happy with my homes, but homes are no more than the people who live in them. For example, after Hurricane Katrina many, many people had to leave their homes in New Orleans and find new places to live. This was very hard on all of them, considering New Orleans is their hometown. But these people agree that as long as they still have their families, they can find a new home because what makes it home, is the people who live with them.
Home may not be where you live, but where they understand you. For some, the meaning of home has no connection to where they live or grew up. It may be a place like a church, building or even park where you feel comfortable and at peace. A place that you can be yourself and not worry about what others think. A place where you can relax and know that you will be safe or a place that holds many memories. I know someone whose home is in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. This place, where he spent a lot of time in his childhood is where he feels at home because of the memories he has there. Colorado will always hold a place in his heart because of the many memories that were made and that are still being made. I also know someone whose home is in the fields of Iowa where he plants, nurtures and harvests his crops. This is where he grew up and spent all of his life. Since he was young, this has been his job, his passion and his home.
Home is a shelter from storms, all sorts of storms. People go back home for comfort, for refuge from life’s many trials. This is because home is the first place they were comforted, the first place they felt safe. This is why when an adult has no place to go, they end up where they grew up. A place where they can get back on their feet and back into their lives again. John Denver’s song “Take Me Home Country Roads” portrays the real meaning of home. The lyrics, “Almost heaven, West Virginia” and “Take me Home, country roads, to the place, I belong…” portrays the passion he has for his home, his state and everything that comes with it.
Harriet Breecher Stowe once said, “Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserved; it is life’s dress rehearsal, its backroom, it’s dressing room.” Home is where you become yourself. The person you will be for the rest of your life. It is who you are, what you are and who you will be. It will always be a part of you.
I think that Frederick Robertson sums up the meaning of home in this one quote, “Home is the one place in all this world where hearts of sure of each other. It is a place of confidence. It is the place where you can tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.” So wherever your home may be, let it be “Home Sweet Home.”
Sunday, September 2, 2007
need opinions!!
I have a writing assignment for school and for the first time in awhile I'm stumped about what to write about. It is a definiton essay, meaning you have to pick one word and define it in about 1 1/2 to 2 pages. For example: love. you might go from puppy love like in elementary, to first love like in high school or college, then to true love like the person you marry. I'm thinking about either 'hero' or 'freedom' but i've been having trouble with both of them. any ideas??
Stars Are Like People That Way
Have you ever laid out at night and just looked at all the stars? It’s amazing how many there are…billions and billions of different stars all in different places. Yet, for the most part they all look the same.
Stars are kind of like people. There are so many of them and they all look the same with a quick glance. But the more you look at them, the more different they are. They all have something unique that makes them who they are.
Have you ever heard that the light from the stars we are seeing now is like 1000 years old? So by the time we see it, the star could’ve been dead for just that long. Stars are like people that way too, by the time you realized they’ve changed it’s too late. The person you knew is already gone.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that you can’t see stars in the daylight. But when nightfall comes they appear one by one until the whole sky is scattered with stars of all different sizes. Stars are like people in that way too, it takes a certain time or place for them to show their true selves, or themselves at all.
Have you ever planned to go out and look at the stars and get outside to find no stars in the sky because it’s cloudy? Or you only see some, and not all of them? Stars are like people that way too, people find a way to only show themselves when the conditions are right.
Would you be impressed with the sky if only a couple stars existed? Would it be as breathtaking or beautiful? No, it wouldn’t. It takes all the stars together in the sky to make it beautiful. Stars are like people that way. Sometimes all a person needs is a little help from some friends to make something 'just right.'
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “If stars should appear once every thousand years, how men would marvel and stare.” We take advantage of the stars just as we take advantage of the people in our lives. So next time you are out at night and see the stars think of the people you love and say a prayer of thanks for them. And if you’re lucky enough to see a shooting star, don’t forget to tell God thanks for the stars too.
Stars are kind of like people. There are so many of them and they all look the same with a quick glance. But the more you look at them, the more different they are. They all have something unique that makes them who they are.
Have you ever heard that the light from the stars we are seeing now is like 1000 years old? So by the time we see it, the star could’ve been dead for just that long. Stars are like people that way too, by the time you realized they’ve changed it’s too late. The person you knew is already gone.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that you can’t see stars in the daylight. But when nightfall comes they appear one by one until the whole sky is scattered with stars of all different sizes. Stars are like people in that way too, it takes a certain time or place for them to show their true selves, or themselves at all.
Have you ever planned to go out and look at the stars and get outside to find no stars in the sky because it’s cloudy? Or you only see some, and not all of them? Stars are like people that way too, people find a way to only show themselves when the conditions are right.
Would you be impressed with the sky if only a couple stars existed? Would it be as breathtaking or beautiful? No, it wouldn’t. It takes all the stars together in the sky to make it beautiful. Stars are like people that way. Sometimes all a person needs is a little help from some friends to make something 'just right.'
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “If stars should appear once every thousand years, how men would marvel and stare.” We take advantage of the stars just as we take advantage of the people in our lives. So next time you are out at night and see the stars think of the people you love and say a prayer of thanks for them. And if you’re lucky enough to see a shooting star, don’t forget to tell God thanks for the stars too.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
College Prep English Paper
Here's the paper I was so excited to write. I didn't go the way I was originally going to go with it, but I survived my first paper at Jefferson! You were supposed to write a story about sometime in your life that you learned lesson and find a cliche that summarized your story. Here it is...
What Doesn’t Kill You Will Make You Stronger
Have you ever heard someone say “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger?” I’ve heard that saying many times in my life but the time it sunk in, was my track season two years ago.
It was spring of my freshman year and track season was upon us. Everyone at school was discussing the upcoming season and counting down the days until the first practice. Myself, however, I was already counting down the days until the season was over. You see, I hate to run! People that know me know how much I hate to run, but people that don’t sometimes are surprised. They seem to think that being a good athlete means that you love to run. That’s definitely not the case for me.
When practice started, it became apparent that I was not a very good runner. By the first track meet I knew my coach would stick me in something we weren’t very strong in so I wouldn’t screw it up. Unfortunately for me, that was the four by eight hundred relay. Anyone in track knows the eight hundred isn’t a very easy race. But if you aren’t in track, I’ll explain the relay to you. In the four by eight hundred, each of the four members of the relay has to run an eight hundred. An eight hundred is two times around the track. So for me, the girl who hated running and who wasn’t very good, that wasn’t good news.
After running if for the first time, it was clear that the eight hundred and I weren’t going to get along. I was part of this relay all year no matter how much I begged to get out of it. Lying on the ground at the coldest meet of the season I promised myself that I would never, ever run this race ever again in the rest of my track career.
The next year, I was assured by my coach that I would never again have to run an eight hundred if I didn’t want to. The team practiced for the first couple weeks and when the first track meet came along, sure enough, he didn’t call my name to run in the four by eight hundred. I was so happy! I had been running better times and had improved a lot from the last year. Track was almost fun, almost…
I thought I was home-free when in the middle of the season one of the four by eight hundred runners got sick and was out of school for a week. When another runner got sick, my coach showed up in one of my classes and asked to speak with me. “Oh no,” I thought. He asked if I was willing to run just one four by eight hundred for the team because half the relay members were sick. Somehow, before I even thought it through, a “yes” came out of my mouth. I was going to die!
On the day of the meet I was nervous and regretting agreeing to run the race. As I took my spot in the line of other runners and looked back to see my teammate who was moments from handing me the baton I thought, “What am I doing?”
After the race, I went up to get my time from my coach. To my surprise, I had run a solid time! In fact, it was the best of my short track career! After running that time, whether I liked it or not, I was again part of the four by eight hundred relay team.
The season came to an end and contrary to what I thought, I did survive. Because of that one time I filled in for someone, I unfortunately became a permanent member of the four by eight hundred relay team.
By this experience I have learned that even though you may not like something of even hate it, it can help you. So when I was faced with the decision to participate in two months of intense basketball workouts with Jake Sullivan I looked back at my track experience. Using that experience I decided that even though it may be difficult, it would make me a better, stronger player in the end. I have continued to participate in the program and I don’t regret my decision.
From now on, when faced with a challenge, I remember that track season. Even when I thought I wasn’t going to make it, I did and I became stronger for it. So from now on, I’ll remember my favorite cliché, “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger
What Doesn’t Kill You Will Make You Stronger
Have you ever heard someone say “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger?” I’ve heard that saying many times in my life but the time it sunk in, was my track season two years ago.
It was spring of my freshman year and track season was upon us. Everyone at school was discussing the upcoming season and counting down the days until the first practice. Myself, however, I was already counting down the days until the season was over. You see, I hate to run! People that know me know how much I hate to run, but people that don’t sometimes are surprised. They seem to think that being a good athlete means that you love to run. That’s definitely not the case for me.
When practice started, it became apparent that I was not a very good runner. By the first track meet I knew my coach would stick me in something we weren’t very strong in so I wouldn’t screw it up. Unfortunately for me, that was the four by eight hundred relay. Anyone in track knows the eight hundred isn’t a very easy race. But if you aren’t in track, I’ll explain the relay to you. In the four by eight hundred, each of the four members of the relay has to run an eight hundred. An eight hundred is two times around the track. So for me, the girl who hated running and who wasn’t very good, that wasn’t good news.
After running if for the first time, it was clear that the eight hundred and I weren’t going to get along. I was part of this relay all year no matter how much I begged to get out of it. Lying on the ground at the coldest meet of the season I promised myself that I would never, ever run this race ever again in the rest of my track career.
The next year, I was assured by my coach that I would never again have to run an eight hundred if I didn’t want to. The team practiced for the first couple weeks and when the first track meet came along, sure enough, he didn’t call my name to run in the four by eight hundred. I was so happy! I had been running better times and had improved a lot from the last year. Track was almost fun, almost…
I thought I was home-free when in the middle of the season one of the four by eight hundred runners got sick and was out of school for a week. When another runner got sick, my coach showed up in one of my classes and asked to speak with me. “Oh no,” I thought. He asked if I was willing to run just one four by eight hundred for the team because half the relay members were sick. Somehow, before I even thought it through, a “yes” came out of my mouth. I was going to die!
On the day of the meet I was nervous and regretting agreeing to run the race. As I took my spot in the line of other runners and looked back to see my teammate who was moments from handing me the baton I thought, “What am I doing?”
After the race, I went up to get my time from my coach. To my surprise, I had run a solid time! In fact, it was the best of my short track career! After running that time, whether I liked it or not, I was again part of the four by eight hundred relay team.
The season came to an end and contrary to what I thought, I did survive. Because of that one time I filled in for someone, I unfortunately became a permanent member of the four by eight hundred relay team.
By this experience I have learned that even though you may not like something of even hate it, it can help you. So when I was faced with the decision to participate in two months of intense basketball workouts with Jake Sullivan I looked back at my track experience. Using that experience I decided that even though it may be difficult, it would make me a better, stronger player in the end. I have continued to participate in the program and I don’t regret my decision.
From now on, when faced with a challenge, I remember that track season. Even when I thought I wasn’t going to make it, I did and I became stronger for it. So from now on, I’ll remember my favorite cliché, “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
First day of school
Ok...today, school...yeah. Well the day started out with geometry. I get there and I find out everyone is going to switch to Algebra 3, so now I guess I'm going to be in algebra 3 which sucks because I'm no math scholar. haha..But he said I could handle it if I work at it. Nice, something else to worry about.
So after that, I had to travel to Jefferson for College prep english and Chemistry. So after getting lost, being stared at like I'm some freak by the Jefferson kids and embarrassing myself I get to english. As all of you know I LOVE to write but I'm not really feeling the teacher. Our first assignment is cliches and mine is "What which does not kill you makes you stronger" so I'm pretty excited about that one. And chemistry...wow! Labs, labs, labs...I hope they are better then they sound!
After we got back we had an assembly where I was pressured to go out for cross country but don't worry everyone... I stayed strong!!! :) Because everyone knows just how much I love to run! (only because my ice cream's melting right Heather?!!!) I decided I'm going to be doing enough running this fall in Ames with Jake Sullivan and I'm not going to run any more than I have to...plus I need my sleep! ;)
We got out early today for the heat so we didn't finish the day but I'll let you know how the afternoon goes tomorrow. Good 'ol spanish, american history and Intro to Psych in Jefferson. woo hoo...or not. :(
Oh by the way.. I'm definately in "like"...yay! I'll keep you posted!
So after that, I had to travel to Jefferson for College prep english and Chemistry. So after getting lost, being stared at like I'm some freak by the Jefferson kids and embarrassing myself I get to english. As all of you know I LOVE to write but I'm not really feeling the teacher. Our first assignment is cliches and mine is "What which does not kill you makes you stronger" so I'm pretty excited about that one. And chemistry...wow! Labs, labs, labs...I hope they are better then they sound!
After we got back we had an assembly where I was pressured to go out for cross country but don't worry everyone... I stayed strong!!! :) Because everyone knows just how much I love to run! (only because my ice cream's melting right Heather?!!!) I decided I'm going to be doing enough running this fall in Ames with Jake Sullivan and I'm not going to run any more than I have to...plus I need my sleep! ;)
We got out early today for the heat so we didn't finish the day but I'll let you know how the afternoon goes tomorrow. Good 'ol spanish, american history and Intro to Psych in Jefferson. woo hoo...or not. :(
Oh by the way.. I'm definately in "like"...yay! I'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
School...
Ok so I'm totally sad/bummed/mad/depressed today because school starts tomorrow! I don't want summer to end, you don't have to worry about anything. No homework, no friend drama (if you don't want it), no early sports or band...you can just relax. School is so stressful, if I didn't absolutely have to go to school and if I didn't want to have a productive life when I grow up I seriously wouldn't ever go to school! I hate it...
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Random Thoughts
Have you ever met someone and after being around them realize that they are a totally different person then you thought they were? It’s funny how that works. People these days think they have to hide the “real them” so deep down because they don’t think it’s good enough that it takes a long time to get to know them.
Sometimes you are friends with people long enough that you don’t realize what they are doing to you. The “real them” finally surfaces and you don’t realize it until it’s too late. By then you are in too deep and can’t get out of the relationship without getting hurt even more or hurting them.
Other times you get to know people at a certain place then meet them somewhere else and they act totally different. I hate it when people act a certain way with their grandma or at church, then are totally different people at school. I don’t think that you need to be constantly changing your personality depending on the crowd you’re in. I think you need to develop a personality that is appropriate for wherever you happen to be.
I sometimes struggle even knowing who I am, let alone what I need my personality to be. It’s hard to not change for the people you’re around. But as hard as it is, it’s so much easier to just be yourself and make friends that like the real “you” instead of pretending to be someone else and going through the end of a relationship because you lied about who you were.
It’s so hard for teenagers today to know who to be. Whether to be the good kids their church and family want them to be, making it so hard to fit in at school or go with the crowd, being popular but going against their beliefs and values.
This world is so hard to live in, it’s so discriminating against differences and it’s become that the good guys always get the short end of the stick. It’s either you play fair and get screwed over, or play dirty and get what you want. But when you play dirty, you may get what you want but you end up feeling guilty because what you did wasn’t right. How is anyone supposed to make these decisions, let alone teenagers who are still deciding who they want to be? I know being fair isn’t the most popular choice, but now it’s almost an impossible choice.
Which brings me to fairness. In this world, fair isn’t always equal. When you get your “fair share” it’s what you earned. It’s not always spread equally. It’s like the “Little Red Hen” story. The hen raised the wheat to make the bread so she got the bread and since the other animals didn’t help, they didn’t get any. The other animals didn’t think it was fair but it was, they just didn’t put any work into it.
This is also the story of what’s happening in farming families these days. The children who stay on the farm to work in the end, should get their fair share of the inheritance. Fair, meaning what they’ve EARNED on the farm, since they decided to stay. In the big picture, the ones who decided to stay are the ones who made it possible for the rest of the children to have an inheritance. So, in a just world the one who stayed on the farm should get the biggest inheritance; an example of fairness…not always being equal.
In this world today, money is very important. Money can break up friends, marriages and even whole families. Now, even the closest, best families can be broken up by money and inheritances. People don’t realize when they die, what can happen to their family when they have to divide up belongings. It just makes my heart hurt to think that some people can’t look past the money and belongings to see what it’s doing to their relationship with their family and how it makes them look to anyone on the outside looking in. It all comes back to the nice guys finishing last and the ones that don’t play fair coming out ahead.
I sit back and look at this world and the people in it and it amazes me how different it seems to be from even 20 years ago. It seems like the bad things cover up the good things, your hear about all the crimes and no miracles or the celebrities that are always in trouble instead of the child who raised money for a good cause. People don’t see the good in the world anymore even though, unbelievably, it’s still there.
The next time you read the newspaper or watch the news just pray to God about all the things that may not be going well, but also be thankful for the good that’s still left in this world.
Sometimes you are friends with people long enough that you don’t realize what they are doing to you. The “real them” finally surfaces and you don’t realize it until it’s too late. By then you are in too deep and can’t get out of the relationship without getting hurt even more or hurting them.
Other times you get to know people at a certain place then meet them somewhere else and they act totally different. I hate it when people act a certain way with their grandma or at church, then are totally different people at school. I don’t think that you need to be constantly changing your personality depending on the crowd you’re in. I think you need to develop a personality that is appropriate for wherever you happen to be.
I sometimes struggle even knowing who I am, let alone what I need my personality to be. It’s hard to not change for the people you’re around. But as hard as it is, it’s so much easier to just be yourself and make friends that like the real “you” instead of pretending to be someone else and going through the end of a relationship because you lied about who you were.
It’s so hard for teenagers today to know who to be. Whether to be the good kids their church and family want them to be, making it so hard to fit in at school or go with the crowd, being popular but going against their beliefs and values.
This world is so hard to live in, it’s so discriminating against differences and it’s become that the good guys always get the short end of the stick. It’s either you play fair and get screwed over, or play dirty and get what you want. But when you play dirty, you may get what you want but you end up feeling guilty because what you did wasn’t right. How is anyone supposed to make these decisions, let alone teenagers who are still deciding who they want to be? I know being fair isn’t the most popular choice, but now it’s almost an impossible choice.
Which brings me to fairness. In this world, fair isn’t always equal. When you get your “fair share” it’s what you earned. It’s not always spread equally. It’s like the “Little Red Hen” story. The hen raised the wheat to make the bread so she got the bread and since the other animals didn’t help, they didn’t get any. The other animals didn’t think it was fair but it was, they just didn’t put any work into it.
This is also the story of what’s happening in farming families these days. The children who stay on the farm to work in the end, should get their fair share of the inheritance. Fair, meaning what they’ve EARNED on the farm, since they decided to stay. In the big picture, the ones who decided to stay are the ones who made it possible for the rest of the children to have an inheritance. So, in a just world the one who stayed on the farm should get the biggest inheritance; an example of fairness…not always being equal.
In this world today, money is very important. Money can break up friends, marriages and even whole families. Now, even the closest, best families can be broken up by money and inheritances. People don’t realize when they die, what can happen to their family when they have to divide up belongings. It just makes my heart hurt to think that some people can’t look past the money and belongings to see what it’s doing to their relationship with their family and how it makes them look to anyone on the outside looking in. It all comes back to the nice guys finishing last and the ones that don’t play fair coming out ahead.
I sit back and look at this world and the people in it and it amazes me how different it seems to be from even 20 years ago. It seems like the bad things cover up the good things, your hear about all the crimes and no miracles or the celebrities that are always in trouble instead of the child who raised money for a good cause. People don’t see the good in the world anymore even though, unbelievably, it’s still there.
The next time you read the newspaper or watch the news just pray to God about all the things that may not be going well, but also be thankful for the good that’s still left in this world.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Dreams
Dreams. Everyone has dreams. Some people work to make them come true. Some people don’t even try because they don’t want to be disappointed. But dreams are what keep us happy. God loves it when you have dreams. Because when you have dreams, you have faith that those dreams will come true.
Little children cover their walls with posters of famous athletes dreaming that one day that will be them on someone’s wall. Teenagers sit in class and dream of their life and what it will be. Parents stand over their baby’s crib dreaming of what their baby will achieve. Everyone dreams.
Without dreams, you are nothing. You have nothing to look forward to, nothing to work for. It’s what you do with your dreams is what makes you the person you are. Will you go out and work for to make your dream come true? Put in those extra hours in the gym after your friends go home? Study, instead of going out? Work that overtime so your child can go to a good preschool?
Or are you one of those people that sit and dream those beautiful dreams every day, but don’t get up and act on them because you are afraid of disappointment? You’ve gotten hurt or disappointed too many times and want to protect yourself. But what you can’t see, is that you are hurting yourself even more. You are more unhappy dreaming that dream that’s just out of reach then you would be if you dreamt, worked for it and fell short.
What person are you? Do you know what you want? Are you willing to work for it? Don’t stop dreaming, because without dreams you are nothing.
Little children cover their walls with posters of famous athletes dreaming that one day that will be them on someone’s wall. Teenagers sit in class and dream of their life and what it will be. Parents stand over their baby’s crib dreaming of what their baby will achieve. Everyone dreams.
Without dreams, you are nothing. You have nothing to look forward to, nothing to work for. It’s what you do with your dreams is what makes you the person you are. Will you go out and work for to make your dream come true? Put in those extra hours in the gym after your friends go home? Study, instead of going out? Work that overtime so your child can go to a good preschool?
Or are you one of those people that sit and dream those beautiful dreams every day, but don’t get up and act on them because you are afraid of disappointment? You’ve gotten hurt or disappointed too many times and want to protect yourself. But what you can’t see, is that you are hurting yourself even more. You are more unhappy dreaming that dream that’s just out of reach then you would be if you dreamt, worked for it and fell short.
What person are you? Do you know what you want? Are you willing to work for it? Don’t stop dreaming, because without dreams you are nothing.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
My Heroes...
Hero. What is a hero to you? The word hero means a lot of things to me. There are a lot of different kinds of heroes. A hero is someone you can look up to, someone you are proud to know. I am lucky to have a couple different heroes in my life.
A hero can be someone that gives you a glimpse of what you want to be. Someone you can look up to and model yourself after. Someone that just magically comes into your life for seemingly no reason and changes it forever or someone that has been in your life forever that you didn’t know how much you cherished until they were gone.
A hero can be someone that can cheer you up with their smile or words. Someone who is there no matter what. Someone who believes in you when you don’t believe in yourself. Someone who will sit on the phone and pray with you because she wishes that she could be there. Someone who sends hugs through email. Someone who seems to know me as they’ve known me forever, not just a year.
A hero can be someone that you took a long time to realize. Someone that has been there forever, without you even knowing it. But when that times comes along you need them, they’re there. They seem to know you better than you know yourself. They’re there to give you their wisdom, to push you in the right direction. They know when you need that smile or hug to get your through their day. They will sit and listen to your funny stories, even though they aren’t funny and still laugh. (even if they’re only laughing inside)
A hero has courage. Whether it’s courage to find a new path to their life, courage to know what they want and not let anyone stop them or courage to admit their faults and get help.
A hero is kind. Someone who will talk to anyone if they need their help, someone who puts everyone else in front of themselves or someone that picks up on other’s moods and tries to cheer them up.
A hero is humble. Someone who tries to be the best they can be without bragging or attracting attention. Most of the time these people don’t even know what they are doing and who they are inspiring to be better people.
Sometimes people come in and out of your life when you need them. You need them so you’re close and they’re there, then you don’t need them and they’re gone. These people might come back when they are needed again or they might disappear from your life forever.
Some people come into your life for a day, for a month, for years or for a lifetime. You need to be able to identify them and how they fit in your life and when you find the right ones, never let them go.
A hero can be someone that gives you a glimpse of what you want to be. Someone you can look up to and model yourself after. Someone that just magically comes into your life for seemingly no reason and changes it forever or someone that has been in your life forever that you didn’t know how much you cherished until they were gone.
A hero can be someone that can cheer you up with their smile or words. Someone who is there no matter what. Someone who believes in you when you don’t believe in yourself. Someone who will sit on the phone and pray with you because she wishes that she could be there. Someone who sends hugs through email. Someone who seems to know me as they’ve known me forever, not just a year.
A hero can be someone that you took a long time to realize. Someone that has been there forever, without you even knowing it. But when that times comes along you need them, they’re there. They seem to know you better than you know yourself. They’re there to give you their wisdom, to push you in the right direction. They know when you need that smile or hug to get your through their day. They will sit and listen to your funny stories, even though they aren’t funny and still laugh. (even if they’re only laughing inside)
A hero has courage. Whether it’s courage to find a new path to their life, courage to know what they want and not let anyone stop them or courage to admit their faults and get help.
A hero is kind. Someone who will talk to anyone if they need their help, someone who puts everyone else in front of themselves or someone that picks up on other’s moods and tries to cheer them up.
A hero is humble. Someone who tries to be the best they can be without bragging or attracting attention. Most of the time these people don’t even know what they are doing and who they are inspiring to be better people.
Sometimes people come in and out of your life when you need them. You need them so you’re close and they’re there, then you don’t need them and they’re gone. These people might come back when they are needed again or they might disappear from your life forever.
Some people come into your life for a day, for a month, for years or for a lifetime. You need to be able to identify them and how they fit in your life and when you find the right ones, never let them go.
High School
High school. It’s where you find out who you are. Are you a leader, a follower or a loner? Do you care what others say and let them hurt you, or are you comfortable enough in yourself that you don’t care what people say or think? Are you that person that everyone wishes they could be? Or are you that person that people pretend to not see in the hallway? What is the difference between these types of people? Their looks, their personality? Deep down, it doesn’t matter whether you are considered the “popular person” or the “unpopular person” it’s who you are. It’s the way you treat others, whether you can see through their looks or the wall they put up and get to know the real them.
Some might consider me as someone from the “popular” crowd and I have never been able to accept that. To me, that group is a group that makes fun of people and doesn’t get to know anyone outside their own “group” of friends. I grew up with the people from that group; they’ve been my friends ever since elementary school. I never asked to be part of that “group,” that’s just the people that I made friends with when I was young. We were just friends; they were all I thought I had, up until I got into high school. But, as I said, high school is where you find out who you are. It’s where you leave the past behind and become your own person. They became their own people, and I became my own. I’m not saying I don’t talk with them or hang out with them but that’s all there is to the relationship. It isn’t any deeper than sports or class.
I’m becoming my own person, but I’m going a different way than they are. I don’t fit in with them anymore; I don’t know exactly where I fit in. I have a different group of friends for everything. I have my “basketball friends,” my “band friends”, my “school friends,” my “youth group friends, “ even my “track friends.” But, that is so hard; to go through the year, and keep switching “groups” of friends. Out of all those groups of friends, there are 4 friends, true friends that I could count on for anything. I could call them in the middle of the night and they’d be there, they would be there to talk me out of doing anything stupid, they are there to help me out and they aren’t afraid to tell me how it is. Those friends are the most important of all. I would rather have 4 real friends, then have millions of others.
I don’t even know when I changed; from thinking I had no one except those girls who treated me like crap. Now, I am really good friends with people I never thought in a million years I’d be friends with. They are the ones I look forward to seeing everyday, not that group of friends that I thought I couldn’t live without. They are the ones that make me laugh, when I don’t want to, they are the ones that can look me in the eye and make me tell them what is wrong. I can look at them, and tell they are asking me because they care, they care about me. I never thought I’d have that again, after that group of friends, after Jess. I never thought I would be able to go to school and look forward to seeing people. I never knew there was anyone else out there, anyone else out there that cared.
Me, Sarah and Jess
us.. haha
Some might consider me as someone from the “popular” crowd and I have never been able to accept that. To me, that group is a group that makes fun of people and doesn’t get to know anyone outside their own “group” of friends. I grew up with the people from that group; they’ve been my friends ever since elementary school. I never asked to be part of that “group,” that’s just the people that I made friends with when I was young. We were just friends; they were all I thought I had, up until I got into high school. But, as I said, high school is where you find out who you are. It’s where you leave the past behind and become your own person. They became their own people, and I became my own. I’m not saying I don’t talk with them or hang out with them but that’s all there is to the relationship. It isn’t any deeper than sports or class.
I’m becoming my own person, but I’m going a different way than they are. I don’t fit in with them anymore; I don’t know exactly where I fit in. I have a different group of friends for everything. I have my “basketball friends,” my “band friends”, my “school friends,” my “youth group friends, “ even my “track friends.” But, that is so hard; to go through the year, and keep switching “groups” of friends. Out of all those groups of friends, there are 4 friends, true friends that I could count on for anything. I could call them in the middle of the night and they’d be there, they would be there to talk me out of doing anything stupid, they are there to help me out and they aren’t afraid to tell me how it is. Those friends are the most important of all. I would rather have 4 real friends, then have millions of others.
I don’t even know when I changed; from thinking I had no one except those girls who treated me like crap. Now, I am really good friends with people I never thought in a million years I’d be friends with. They are the ones I look forward to seeing everyday, not that group of friends that I thought I couldn’t live without. They are the ones that make me laugh, when I don’t want to, they are the ones that can look me in the eye and make me tell them what is wrong. I can look at them, and tell they are asking me because they care, they care about me. I never thought I’d have that again, after that group of friends, after Jess. I never thought I would be able to go to school and look forward to seeing people. I never knew there was anyone else out there, anyone else out there that cared.
Me, Sarah and Jess
us.. haha
Friday, July 27, 2007
Dear Grandma and Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa,
Sitting here, against your headstone I feel as close to you as I have since you were alive. I also feel the most at peace. I miss you guys so much. There were so many things I didn’t say, so many things I didn’t ask you. You two were always there for me. You were a constant in my life that I took for granted.
You were looked up to, respected people of the community. But I never thought of you that way, no, you were MY grandma and grandpa. You were mine and I was very selfish that way. When people would call you Grandma Mary, Grandma, it would make me so mad because you weren’t THEY’RE grandma you were MINE.
I would always be amazed, Grandpa, with your unspoken dignity and wisdom. You wouldn’t even have to say anything to make your presence or opinion known. You are the wisest person I have ever met. You were strong in your beliefs and loved unconditionally. I hope some day I can be half as respected as you were and are.
Grandma, I miss you so much. I miss your hugs, how you would whisper in my ear and tell me how proud you were of me and how much you loved me. I miss the look of pride in your eyes as you would sit and watch your grandchildren play. I was as close to you as I was to any other of my great grandparents. I still miss you and think of you all the time.
Your faith in God still ceases to amaze me. How comfortable you were in your faith, and how you always knew that right thing to say. I hope someday I can have faith like both of you. I want to carry on your legacy. I want to be like both of you.
I know that right now as I’m writing this you are both where you want to be and belong to be. With God and with each other. We all know that, but we all miss you just the same. I’m so happy to have known you, you have helped make me the person I am now. I’ll miss you but I’m not sad because I know that you two are always with me, in my heart and as my guardian angels.
I love you so much…
Sitting here, against your headstone I feel as close to you as I have since you were alive. I also feel the most at peace. I miss you guys so much. There were so many things I didn’t say, so many things I didn’t ask you. You two were always there for me. You were a constant in my life that I took for granted.
You were looked up to, respected people of the community. But I never thought of you that way, no, you were MY grandma and grandpa. You were mine and I was very selfish that way. When people would call you Grandma Mary, Grandma, it would make me so mad because you weren’t THEY’RE grandma you were MINE.
I would always be amazed, Grandpa, with your unspoken dignity and wisdom. You wouldn’t even have to say anything to make your presence or opinion known. You are the wisest person I have ever met. You were strong in your beliefs and loved unconditionally. I hope some day I can be half as respected as you were and are.
Grandma, I miss you so much. I miss your hugs, how you would whisper in my ear and tell me how proud you were of me and how much you loved me. I miss the look of pride in your eyes as you would sit and watch your grandchildren play. I was as close to you as I was to any other of my great grandparents. I still miss you and think of you all the time.
Your faith in God still ceases to amaze me. How comfortable you were in your faith, and how you always knew that right thing to say. I hope someday I can have faith like both of you. I want to carry on your legacy. I want to be like both of you.
I know that right now as I’m writing this you are both where you want to be and belong to be. With God and with each other. We all know that, but we all miss you just the same. I’m so happy to have known you, you have helped make me the person I am now. I’ll miss you but I’m not sad because I know that you two are always with me, in my heart and as my guardian angels.
I love you so much…
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Amanda's Poem
I like being on an airplane
Being way up high
Up where lives the sun and rain
I don't quite know why
Playing with my cousins is my favorite thing to do
We run and play all day
And sit and color too
I love to come to Cassie's house
To sleep all night and day
I'm glad she doesnt have a mouse
Or I don't think I'd stay
Pretty good for a five year old! :)
Amanda and I
Being way up high
Up where lives the sun and rain
I don't quite know why
Playing with my cousins is my favorite thing to do
We run and play all day
And sit and color too
I love to come to Cassie's house
To sleep all night and day
I'm glad she doesnt have a mouse
Or I don't think I'd stay
Pretty good for a five year old! :)
Amanda and I
Friday, July 20, 2007
Romans 7:15-20
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Romans 7:15-20
Romans 7:15-20
Free
Free. I want to be free. I want to be free from the chains, from the negative world that we live in. From the expectations of perfection, to just be who I want to be. To have the freedom to decide my future. To make mistakes along the way and not have to worry about what others think. To be able to live my life, the life I want to live. To be free of the judging gaze of others. To go out into the world and discover new things. To learn from the wrong directions I may take and be able to find my way back, even if it takes time and some pit stops along the way. To find what I love, what my purpose is on this earth. To find the guy that I love and that is perfect for me. To walk down the street and be proud of who I am and where I’m going. To learn and grow in my faith. To have people to walk beside me; not ahead or behind me. To look in the mirror and like what I see. Free from guilt, sadness and disappointment. To wake up in the morning with anticipation and not dread. To be able to look people in the eye. To be there for someone the right way, not the wrong way. To help someone in need, with my talents, no one else’s. To not have to worry about being deserted and forgotten by people I counted on. To be what I want to be, not what everyone else wants me to be. To know that God will be there, whenever I want to come back. To live my life for what it is and what I want to make of it. I want to be free as wild horses running in the mountains, as free as an eagle soaring in the sky. To be able to let it all go and know that everything will be ok. To be able to be my own person and be proud of where I’m headed no matter what. I want to be free. Just free.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Captive
written May 2007
Will I ever get rid of this? This monster, that holds me captive inside my own body. This monster that hides away, sometimes for long periods of time only to pop out again at the strangest and most inconvenient of times? Will I ever be who I was before and not have to worry; to hide from certain feelings or thoughts that plague me from time to time? This monster that attacks when I’m almost out of the woods, this monster that knows when I am most easily persuaded. I sometimes think I’m done with this crazy, screwed up piece of my life. I sometimes think I can finally rebuild and put all this behind me when all of a sudden, I’m blindsided with the indescribable, shameful, terrifying feelings once again. And it makes me wonder if I will ever be safe. Safe from myself and this monster who has made it’s home in my body, my mind and my soul. When I will ever have a day that I don’t think about my past and feel shame. Will I ever escape this monster? Am I willing to fight, get it out of me once and for all? Or will I let that one little thing, the strange feeling I can’t describe that wants to keep that monster; win the fight over my body, mind and soul over and over again until it’s too late?
Will I ever get rid of this? This monster, that holds me captive inside my own body. This monster that hides away, sometimes for long periods of time only to pop out again at the strangest and most inconvenient of times? Will I ever be who I was before and not have to worry; to hide from certain feelings or thoughts that plague me from time to time? This monster that attacks when I’m almost out of the woods, this monster that knows when I am most easily persuaded. I sometimes think I’m done with this crazy, screwed up piece of my life. I sometimes think I can finally rebuild and put all this behind me when all of a sudden, I’m blindsided with the indescribable, shameful, terrifying feelings once again. And it makes me wonder if I will ever be safe. Safe from myself and this monster who has made it’s home in my body, my mind and my soul. When I will ever have a day that I don’t think about my past and feel shame. Will I ever escape this monster? Am I willing to fight, get it out of me once and for all? Or will I let that one little thing, the strange feeling I can’t describe that wants to keep that monster; win the fight over my body, mind and soul over and over again until it’s too late?
Friday, July 13, 2007
What to Do...
written May 2007
Emptiness. There is nothing there
What to do, when you can’t feel
When you can’t cry, hurt, feel anything real
What to do, when you don’t know where you are
Where you’re going, or even who you are
What to do when you can’t believe
In yourself, or people that always leave
What to do when you’ve hurt for so long
That you can’t remember whatever went wrong
What to do when lies take over
There are so many, just made another
What to do when you’re so confused
That it seems like there isn’t anything to lose
What to do when you’re living a lie
But no one knows, they walk on by
What to do when you’re so lost
To remember your actions will and do cost
What to do when those scars you look at day after day
Will last all your life, forever they’ll stay
To remind you of when you lost control
From that time when the pain was so dull
All those times that you couldn’t feel
Will anything ever again be real?
Emptiness. There is nothing there
What to do, when you can’t feel
When you can’t cry, hurt, feel anything real
What to do, when you don’t know where you are
Where you’re going, or even who you are
What to do when you can’t believe
In yourself, or people that always leave
What to do when you’ve hurt for so long
That you can’t remember whatever went wrong
What to do when lies take over
There are so many, just made another
What to do when you’re so confused
That it seems like there isn’t anything to lose
What to do when you’re living a lie
But no one knows, they walk on by
What to do when you’re so lost
To remember your actions will and do cost
What to do when those scars you look at day after day
Will last all your life, forever they’ll stay
To remind you of when you lost control
From that time when the pain was so dull
All those times that you couldn’t feel
Will anything ever again be real?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Good 'ol County Fair
Fair. What do you guys think of when you think of the fair? Do you think of carnival rides and lots of stuff to do? Well at least here…WRONG! Fair to me means a lot of stuff. The start of the week means stress and lots of it. Because then is when we START to do our projects! J We have adopted the “procrastinate all year and do the projects a day before they’re judged” routine. After that stress is over the fair is pretty fun.
Again though…what do you consider fun? Do you consider lots of games, rides, and stuff to do fun or hanging out with your friends playing cards and sitting in a not-so-sweet smelling barn all day fun? If you picked the latter, then welcome to the county fair! If not, then don‘t bother coming.
Here, fair is a big social gathering with the occasional competitiveness of showing animals. I love it. You meet so many new people and get to see your friends after a long summer of being busy with sports, vacations and jobs.
A lot of people that you would talk to that actually show animals may not agree with the “fair is so fun” part. Because they have to be there all day to “watch” their animals and I’m just there by choice. But me, who has never really had the chance to bring her livestock to fair to show, used to think it was great to help out. I’ve spent many Thursday’s of the fair in the sheep barn shearing and washing sheep (doing my cousins jobs) while they went out and found something better to do. Because, in the end I could leave when I wanted to and they couldn’t. Now that I’ve grown up a little bit I see where they’re coming from and they are back to doing their jobs but I’ll never forget the responsibility I felt when I was little being able to take care of their animals.
Fair is a lot of things to a lot of people, but I think its unanimous that it is one of the most looked forward to times of the year. (at least until show day)
Again though…what do you consider fun? Do you consider lots of games, rides, and stuff to do fun or hanging out with your friends playing cards and sitting in a not-so-sweet smelling barn all day fun? If you picked the latter, then welcome to the county fair! If not, then don‘t bother coming.
Here, fair is a big social gathering with the occasional competitiveness of showing animals. I love it. You meet so many new people and get to see your friends after a long summer of being busy with sports, vacations and jobs.
A lot of people that you would talk to that actually show animals may not agree with the “fair is so fun” part. Because they have to be there all day to “watch” their animals and I’m just there by choice. But me, who has never really had the chance to bring her livestock to fair to show, used to think it was great to help out. I’ve spent many Thursday’s of the fair in the sheep barn shearing and washing sheep (doing my cousins jobs) while they went out and found something better to do. Because, in the end I could leave when I wanted to and they couldn’t. Now that I’ve grown up a little bit I see where they’re coming from and they are back to doing their jobs but I’ll never forget the responsibility I felt when I was little being able to take care of their animals.
Fair is a lot of things to a lot of people, but I think its unanimous that it is one of the most looked forward to times of the year. (at least until show day)
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
A letter to every young girl...
To every young girl….
The next years of your life are going to be some of the best, worst, most memorable and most defining of your entire life. You need to start cementing your values and morals right now and cling to them for dear life. Never, ever compromise your beliefs for anyone or anything. Never.
You need to have confidence in yourself. Without self confidence and good feelings of self-worth you are nothing. You are weak and susceptible to falling into bad things and bad groups of people. You are all you have and you are going to have to deal with your actions and who you are/were for the rest of your life. So be wise.
Surround yourself with good people. People who are supportive, wise, trustworthy and that truly care for you. Without your support group, you are nothing. They pick you up when you fall down, they give you advice on your biggest problems and they believe in you no matter what; sometimes more than you believe in yourself.
Live your life your own way, not by following others. Do not let others define who you are. Be your own person and keep your head held high no matter what. People respect that and will respect you. Stand up for your beliefs. It may be the hardest thing you ever do, but it may also be the most rewarding thing you ever do.
Be bold. Don’t be afraid to try something new or challenging. Mistakes aren’t bad, if you learn from them. The worst thing you can do is to be afraid to try things. Be confident and put yourself out there. You will be rewarded in the end.
You are going to go through rough times. Never, ever give up. It may seem like the world is falling apart around you and there is no way out but there always is. These rough times, if you persevere; will define who you are. You will be a stronger person for it.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Chances are those people are jealous of you and don’t want you to succeed. Prove them wrong. Work hard for your goals and believe in yourself and your abilities. No one knows your abilities better than you. Never give up.
Be kind. One little smile or encouraging word to someone may mean the world to them. Be supportive of others and open to new ideas. You never know who is watching you and looking up to you. Be a good role model to others.
These next years are very important to you and who you will be. Be confident, wise, hardworking and strong and you will persevere. Cling to your values and don’t ever change who you are for someone or something. Be proud of yourself, your achievements and abilities and never take “no” for an answer. Believe in yourself and follow your dreams. With faith and hard work….dreams do come true.
The next years of your life are going to be some of the best, worst, most memorable and most defining of your entire life. You need to start cementing your values and morals right now and cling to them for dear life. Never, ever compromise your beliefs for anyone or anything. Never.
You need to have confidence in yourself. Without self confidence and good feelings of self-worth you are nothing. You are weak and susceptible to falling into bad things and bad groups of people. You are all you have and you are going to have to deal with your actions and who you are/were for the rest of your life. So be wise.
Surround yourself with good people. People who are supportive, wise, trustworthy and that truly care for you. Without your support group, you are nothing. They pick you up when you fall down, they give you advice on your biggest problems and they believe in you no matter what; sometimes more than you believe in yourself.
Live your life your own way, not by following others. Do not let others define who you are. Be your own person and keep your head held high no matter what. People respect that and will respect you. Stand up for your beliefs. It may be the hardest thing you ever do, but it may also be the most rewarding thing you ever do.
Be bold. Don’t be afraid to try something new or challenging. Mistakes aren’t bad, if you learn from them. The worst thing you can do is to be afraid to try things. Be confident and put yourself out there. You will be rewarded in the end.
You are going to go through rough times. Never, ever give up. It may seem like the world is falling apart around you and there is no way out but there always is. These rough times, if you persevere; will define who you are. You will be a stronger person for it.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Chances are those people are jealous of you and don’t want you to succeed. Prove them wrong. Work hard for your goals and believe in yourself and your abilities. No one knows your abilities better than you. Never give up.
Be kind. One little smile or encouraging word to someone may mean the world to them. Be supportive of others and open to new ideas. You never know who is watching you and looking up to you. Be a good role model to others.
These next years are very important to you and who you will be. Be confident, wise, hardworking and strong and you will persevere. Cling to your values and don’t ever change who you are for someone or something. Be proud of yourself, your achievements and abilities and never take “no” for an answer. Believe in yourself and follow your dreams. With faith and hard work….dreams do come true.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
People Say...
written October 2006
People say best friends are forever. Well they’re not. No matter how much you promise yourself it won’t happen to you or how close you are, it only takes a split second for that all the fall apart. Maybe they lie to you or stab you in the back and it’s all over. Then what? Are you supposed to just forgive and forget? What happens when you do and it happens over and over again? Is it really supposed to happen that way? Do they really expect you to forgive them over and over?
People say friends make your life complete and give you the balance you need, but what if they aren’t there when you need them? What if your best friend moves away, stabs you in the back or lies to you and it all falls apart? Then what? It will take a long time to find a new friend and to get to the point you were with your old one. What are you supposed to do in that time you have no one?
People say secrets between friends are sacred and should never be shared. But what if it puts you in a situation between choosing the right thing or your friend? Then what? Are you supposed to risk your credibility and virtues for your friend or do what you think is right? What happens if you choose the wrong thing and your friendship is ruined because you betrayed them and told the truth or your kept the secret and can’t live with yourself? Should you really have to make that decision?
People say that friends can heal your soul. What if you spend your whole life trying to reassure them and heal them and you miss all the good times? Maybe they can’t be healed, maybe they don’t want to be. Then what? You spend the whole time trying to fix things that can’t be fixed and put yourself through hell. Is that really how it should be? Friends are supposed to be there, but what are you supposed to do if they don’t want help? Are you supposed to put yourself through that; watching your best friend hurt when you can’t do a thing about it?
People say to never give up. But what if you’re just fighting a losing fight? What if you are just pretending everything’s alright when it’s not? Then what? Are you supposed to keep pretending and putting on the fake smile to keep that friendship going? What does it take to finally push you over that edge when you just can’t take it anymore? When is it ok to finally let go and end it? And why if it hurts you so bad to be friends, does it hurt so much to think about letting it all go…
People say best friends are forever. Well they’re not. No matter how much you promise yourself it won’t happen to you or how close you are, it only takes a split second for that all the fall apart. Maybe they lie to you or stab you in the back and it’s all over. Then what? Are you supposed to just forgive and forget? What happens when you do and it happens over and over again? Is it really supposed to happen that way? Do they really expect you to forgive them over and over?
People say friends make your life complete and give you the balance you need, but what if they aren’t there when you need them? What if your best friend moves away, stabs you in the back or lies to you and it all falls apart? Then what? It will take a long time to find a new friend and to get to the point you were with your old one. What are you supposed to do in that time you have no one?
People say secrets between friends are sacred and should never be shared. But what if it puts you in a situation between choosing the right thing or your friend? Then what? Are you supposed to risk your credibility and virtues for your friend or do what you think is right? What happens if you choose the wrong thing and your friendship is ruined because you betrayed them and told the truth or your kept the secret and can’t live with yourself? Should you really have to make that decision?
People say that friends can heal your soul. What if you spend your whole life trying to reassure them and heal them and you miss all the good times? Maybe they can’t be healed, maybe they don’t want to be. Then what? You spend the whole time trying to fix things that can’t be fixed and put yourself through hell. Is that really how it should be? Friends are supposed to be there, but what are you supposed to do if they don’t want help? Are you supposed to put yourself through that; watching your best friend hurt when you can’t do a thing about it?
People say to never give up. But what if you’re just fighting a losing fight? What if you are just pretending everything’s alright when it’s not? Then what? Are you supposed to keep pretending and putting on the fake smile to keep that friendship going? What does it take to finally push you over that edge when you just can’t take it anymore? When is it ok to finally let go and end it? And why if it hurts you so bad to be friends, does it hurt so much to think about letting it all go…
When people say best friends are forever…don’t believe them. Hold on to what you have because you never know when it will all fall apart.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
How Little Girls Saved My Life
That year had been the worst of my life, I was so sick and tired of fighting a losing fight. I came close to giving up on everyone and everything, I struggled to find anything, to the world, I could bring.
When I went there I expected to have some fun. To play dress up, color and run around under the sun. But I had no idea why I was really there. God lead me there, showing me finally that He really did care.
Everything started out as normal as can be. But as the days went by , I sensed what they really could see. They looked in your eyes and right into your soul. Knowing just what to say, they started filling the hole.
It hurt me to see how much they loved me. “I didn’t deserve it,” I thought “They didn’t know the real me.” When she said “Cassie, I love you as much as I can love,” as she looked me in the eye. I realized I had to change for her and myself and started to cry.
I hadn’t realized that they had been changing me. Crumbling the walls I had put up, opening my eyes so I could see. All that pain I had been through and still felt. With their smiles and laughter, they slowly started to melt.
I never truly wanted to quit what I thought had helped my pain this the last year, No one could say something that could make it all clear. But something about how those little girls looked at me. They made me realize the person I needed to be.
Those little girls may never know what they did for me. But I will always remember how they saved me.
Amanda, Janelle and I
Margaret, Jane and I
When I went there I expected to have some fun. To play dress up, color and run around under the sun. But I had no idea why I was really there. God lead me there, showing me finally that He really did care.
Everything started out as normal as can be. But as the days went by , I sensed what they really could see. They looked in your eyes and right into your soul. Knowing just what to say, they started filling the hole.
It hurt me to see how much they loved me. “I didn’t deserve it,” I thought “They didn’t know the real me.” When she said “Cassie, I love you as much as I can love,” as she looked me in the eye. I realized I had to change for her and myself and started to cry.
I hadn’t realized that they had been changing me. Crumbling the walls I had put up, opening my eyes so I could see. All that pain I had been through and still felt. With their smiles and laughter, they slowly started to melt.
I never truly wanted to quit what I thought had helped my pain this the last year, No one could say something that could make it all clear. But something about how those little girls looked at me. They made me realize the person I needed to be.
Those little girls may never know what they did for me. But I will always remember how they saved me.
Amanda, Janelle and I
Margaret, Jane and I
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Vacation...
Ahh….vacations. Aren’t they just wonderful?! Ok, really they are really great but there are some things that just drive you crazy. For example…I am going on my 204th hour with having my family no more than like 100 ft from me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but you can only spend so much time that close before people start getting cranky, crazy, or both.
So I’m sitting here in a Colorado hotel on our last night away for vacation 2007 and reminiscing the good…and bad times this vacation. First, some background. We left last Friday morning and from there we have been in 9 states and seen Carlsbad Caverns, White Sands, the Cliff Dwellings, the Grand Canyon, seen a cool mine, drove on the highest road in North America and seen a lot of cool stuff in between. So this vacation has been pretty cool and we’ve gotten to see a lot of cool things.
The bad…well, what can of crazy things can you argue about? Well there’s the “meaning” of a random song on the radio, where we’re going next, what kind of hotel we want, who sleeps with who and who gets what seats in the car. Really, if you think about it, you can argue about just about anything. Plus…hikes. Absolutely HATE them! I mean I don’t mind an occasional jaunt through some trees to have a better view but I hate walking for hours and hours and seeing nothing but the same thing you did when you started! I don’t know…they just aren’t some of my favorite things. Next, sleeping with my little brother. I don’t know about you, but I need my own bed. I need to be able to spread out and waking up with an 11 year old laying on you just really pisses me off!! Lastly, not being able to find a hotel. Usually at least once on vacation we get carried away and lose track of time, then have trouble finding a hotel. Unfortunately, tonight was one of those nights. Finally you find a hotel but it’s nothing like the ones you stayed in. They may not be the cleanest, or friendliest or have the things you want. That’s the worst.
The good…you can’t really get any better then driving in the beautiful Rockies of Colorado seeing all the wildlife, occasional mountain streams and all the amazing scenery with good ‘ol John Denver singing in the background. You really can’t. Colorado, is my second home. We visited the mountains for the first time last year and it felt like I was at home, in this random place I’ve never been to before. Let’s just say I fell in love. I could sit along one of those beautiful streams forever, away from the rest of the world and the craziness that comes with it. The mountain streams are my favorite thing to see because they are so amazing. They trickle down the whole mountain, sometimes 14,000 feet or better without a care in the world. (ok so they don’t have brains or emotions, but if they did they would be totally free)
I would come back to the mountains for the rest of my vacations, my whole life, if I was able. They are so amazing. The views, the peacefulness that lies in them, the wildlife that knows nothing but being free and breathing the freshest air you can get all while being “on top of the world.” What a feeling….
Finally, the time you spend with your family. No matter how bad it sometimes seems, how sick you get of listening to your little brother talk, how tired you are of sitting in the car or how crabby your parents can get; you should always remain thankful. Lots of kids don’t even know what a vacation is, have parents to take them or siblings to annoy them so no matter how bad it seems sometimes I’m thankful for this time with my family.
~Later
Us at the Grand Canyon
So I’m sitting here in a Colorado hotel on our last night away for vacation 2007 and reminiscing the good…and bad times this vacation. First, some background. We left last Friday morning and from there we have been in 9 states and seen Carlsbad Caverns, White Sands, the Cliff Dwellings, the Grand Canyon, seen a cool mine, drove on the highest road in North America and seen a lot of cool stuff in between. So this vacation has been pretty cool and we’ve gotten to see a lot of cool things.
The bad…well, what can of crazy things can you argue about? Well there’s the “meaning” of a random song on the radio, where we’re going next, what kind of hotel we want, who sleeps with who and who gets what seats in the car. Really, if you think about it, you can argue about just about anything. Plus…hikes. Absolutely HATE them! I mean I don’t mind an occasional jaunt through some trees to have a better view but I hate walking for hours and hours and seeing nothing but the same thing you did when you started! I don’t know…they just aren’t some of my favorite things. Next, sleeping with my little brother. I don’t know about you, but I need my own bed. I need to be able to spread out and waking up with an 11 year old laying on you just really pisses me off!! Lastly, not being able to find a hotel. Usually at least once on vacation we get carried away and lose track of time, then have trouble finding a hotel. Unfortunately, tonight was one of those nights. Finally you find a hotel but it’s nothing like the ones you stayed in. They may not be the cleanest, or friendliest or have the things you want. That’s the worst.
The good…you can’t really get any better then driving in the beautiful Rockies of Colorado seeing all the wildlife, occasional mountain streams and all the amazing scenery with good ‘ol John Denver singing in the background. You really can’t. Colorado, is my second home. We visited the mountains for the first time last year and it felt like I was at home, in this random place I’ve never been to before. Let’s just say I fell in love. I could sit along one of those beautiful streams forever, away from the rest of the world and the craziness that comes with it. The mountain streams are my favorite thing to see because they are so amazing. They trickle down the whole mountain, sometimes 14,000 feet or better without a care in the world. (ok so they don’t have brains or emotions, but if they did they would be totally free)
I would come back to the mountains for the rest of my vacations, my whole life, if I was able. They are so amazing. The views, the peacefulness that lies in them, the wildlife that knows nothing but being free and breathing the freshest air you can get all while being “on top of the world.” What a feeling….
Finally, the time you spend with your family. No matter how bad it sometimes seems, how sick you get of listening to your little brother talk, how tired you are of sitting in the car or how crabby your parents can get; you should always remain thankful. Lots of kids don’t even know what a vacation is, have parents to take them or siblings to annoy them so no matter how bad it seems sometimes I’m thankful for this time with my family.
~Later
Us at the Grand Canyon
Thursday, July 5, 2007
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